The rollercoaster continues...yesterday he was saying there was still hope. Today he's yelling at me. I made a huge mistake. Have spent 9 months sitting alone, raising 5 kids by myself. Telling him i'll do whatever it takes to save our family, but he can't give me a lifetime of punishment. He screamed at me that i was the punishement of a lifetime to him. However, im always tagged the verbally abusive one in his mind. I just dont know what to do. When he says there is hope, im willing to wait. When he turns the next day and is mean and cruel...what do i do? I don't feel i can walk away when there is hope. How long do i let this go on? I wish in a way he'd just call and say he was done and found someone else. He wont do that. I understand his anger, but how much more do i take. I just don't feel that i can just turn and walk if there is any hope. Do i wait, since im the one who brought this on..i do feel i deserve some punishment. I know i have to earn his trust again, but how do i do that when he is refusting to do any work on his end.
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