she said she was thinking about it 'a while'

and in the months before I must have felt it because I remember saying to her and the kids "it feels like you just don't want me around any more"

I guess that WAS the case

It's funny you should mention that, throughout our marriage, anytime the word divorce was said, it was said by him...hmmmm, something to think about...

I guess if they have been thinking about it for so long there is no chance of it working out. I wish he had told me earlier

I'm in that boat paddling with you Alex. We had a blowout 2 years ago and it's been a contentious marriage ever since.

We both thought about it but never did anything about it until recently.

mine said the last year of lour marriage meant nothing to him he stayed for the benifit of our daughter-what part of screwing me and letting me wait on him like a dog was beneficial to her.Don't you think it would be nice of them to let us know as soon as they feel that way

Mine - try 5 years.....

Yea, me too.. It's funny how in a marrige, which is about 2 people they can just deciede to want a divorce. Just like that! I think it makes it harder because you are told that this is going to happen and never consulted about it. It kind of leaves you hanging onto something that you thought was there, but actually wasn't...

I think it started happening when we were having different ideas on what we'd allow our daughter to do. So she's the one who drove the wedge to gain freedoms.

I think the beginning of the end was when I found out something that happened a year earlier that I didn't think the mother knew. So I caught BOTH of them in a lie. Instead of a unified mother/father->child, it turned mother/daughterXfather.

I backed off and said she can take care of all decisions with her from then on, and then 3 months later.... maybe she just couldn't deal with the guilt any more... or maybe there was MORE and I only hit the tip of the iceburg.

I don't know, but looking back, I'm so glad it worked out the way it did. If I wanted OUT I'd never have gotten the deal I got, and it just cost me $$$. I got my peace and free time.

Exactly what mine said. He even says he has tried to talk to the kids - but his version of talking is not in sync with the rest of the world. My kids said he has not talked to them at all. I had NO CLUE he was unhappy.

Bingo, bingo, bingo. Alex31, my stbx did exactly the same thing, only it was for 10 years that he claimed he wanted to leave (sometimes he's even said all 13). I say, if that's true he's a real wussy to not have brought it up sooner. What sort of a loser stays in a bad situation that long? We don't have kids, so there's no excuse.

Mine won every disagreement for eleven years with the majic words "Do you want a divorce?"

He said that he had been feeling the way that he had for about 1.5-2 years. He just didn't clue me in until 3 weeks ago. He didn't bother to clue me in so we could at least work on it for those 2 years.

We've been together for almost 16 years and married for 5.5 years after he wanted to break up 6 years ago. He is telling me we are not compatible and he has been unhappy for a long time but couldn't break up with me.
There were a couple more times he wanted to break up before we got married.

mine never mentioned divorce,but did not hesitate to let me know always, that there is better then me out there. and how he can easily replace me and how he is fund of every one else's wives then me.now that i filed for divorce all of the sudden he can not imagine his life without me and he knows how much of efford i've put in this relationship and raising kids and so on...!!!!!! i mean how weard is that? I don't think that i can trust any thing he says.

My stbxh told me last month that as far as he was concerned we divorced back in 2003. I guess he forgot to send me that memo.