
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I tried to explain to my husband that he didn't need to worry about me cheating because casual sex isn't anything that is fulfilling for me. When I was younger, I had a couple of attempts at pleasure with no strings attached, but both times really left me feeling hollow and it lacked all of the true intimacy that I was craving.
Is sex really that different for a man than a woman? I told my husband that it is hard for me to make love to him simply because he wants me to. I have to feel close to him. Physically trying to "turn me on" after he has been screaming at me is nearly impossible. It is like a light switch has been thrown and it just won't happen. He doesn't understand and thinks that I am doing it on purpose. I have tried it his way and it makes me want to cry (and makes me sick to my stomach). I haven't ever cried or told him that I want to wretch, but I tell him that I can't turn myself on like a light switch. If my heart isn't in it, neither is my body.
When our relationship is good, everything is extremely passionate and imaginative :) When it is bad, it is awful.
Please chime in with whatever comments you feel are appropriate. I totally into cognitive dissonance so feel free to disagree.
Is sex really that different for a man than a woman? I told my husband that it is hard for me to make love to him simply because he wants me to. I have to feel close to him. Physically trying to "turn me on" after he has been screaming at me is nearly impossible. It is like a light switch has been thrown and it just won't happen. He doesn't understand and thinks that I am doing it on purpose. I have tried it his way and it makes me want to cry (and makes me sick to my stomach). I haven't ever cried or told him that I want to wretch, but I tell him that I can't turn myself on like a light switch. If my heart isn't in it, neither is my body.
When our relationship is good, everything is extremely passionate and imaginative :) When it is bad, it is awful.
Please chime in with whatever comments you feel are appropriate. I totally into cognitive dissonance so feel free to disagree.
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That said, anyone - man or woman - who expects you to have sex after you have been screaming at them - is nuts. (Unless you're into angry sex.)
But then again, sex is just a memory right now and that where it is going to stay.
I might write more later, batteries low in lap-top.
I was sexually promiscuous whenI was younger but I never felt shame or felt like a slut untill i was married and that was the only thing my husband wanted from me. I finally got to the point that it made me feel sick to have sex with him, and he would humiliate me and try to force me into having sex with him. He would come to my bed room and wheni would say no, but if you want to stay and cuddle or talk I would love the company and he would get pissed and scream at me and accuss me of cheating.
His idea of romance was to grab me by my croch.
The week before i left I needed money for an attourney in a case involving my son. He wrote out the check and told me i had to wait a few days to cash it becasue he had just made a deposit. He then tried to force me into having sex with him when I didn't he tore up the check and gave the money to his son instead.
I am afraid of men and freaked out by acts of kindness, I feel like there is an ulterior motive. I don't know if i will ever trust men again or not.
I think that you will get over it. You have been hurt deeply. It is his problem, not yours. Was he also a control freak? I am starting to see a pattern. I think that the sex issue really might have more to do about power and control than sex. That might be why we experience something similar to a rape victim response. (Don't touch me). It seems that the problems occur when the power is uneven. If someone is put in a position where they feel that they can't say no, sex is no longer about love and affection.