I wish that I had an answer for you. I was married for almost 12 years when my husband told me that he wanted a divorce. It devastated me because he was my everything, and he broke my heart to pieces. I'd like to find an answer on how to stop loving someone outta the blue too.

I can offer you HUGE hugs though.

Time?
I don't know.
I left my husband August 24th because he was financially a nightmare.
And I still love him and miss him.
I'm not going back, but..
maybe I'll always love him, but it won't always hurt this much.

It is hard to stop loving someone.

I believe that you will always love them but like saracooks said it just won't always hurt that much.

I was in a relationship for 7years and out of the blue he tells me he doesn't love me and finally got up the courage to tell me he didn't want to be with me.

It has been 6 months now. I have good days and bad. Being bipolar doesn't help the matter either, it put a big damper on the relationship as it was untreated and when I did get treatment the time seemed to late.

My suggestion is to don't let anyone tell you how or when it will happen. Go through it in your own way and you will be better in the long run.

It just really sux when they were your everything.

I am sorry you are in such pain. I have no answer to that question. If I could stop loving him, I would. Sigh.

The wound is fresh. Perhaps the passage of time will help.
Internal peace, and love

Before you can be someone else's "everything"....you have to be your own "everything". My own break up came about the same time that my sister lost her husband of 40 YEARS, to complications from Agent Orange. She tells me all the time "Choose Life". she truly is my HERO!

You don't stop loving him because if that's gonna happen it's gonna take time. what you can do is stop trying to stop loving him. If you didn't love him it wouldn't hurt so much. Admit that you do love him and probably will for a long time...accept it and move on from there. Love is a tricky bitch and she ain't pretty or easy.

I love my husband and he loves me. The fact of the matter is that love sometimes has nothing to do with everyday life. Love doesn't get the rent paid nor does it put food in our mouthes.

So, love him, he's probably a decent guy outside of your separation and divorce. Just don't make yourself believe that love is the begining and the end of your life.

You can't just stop loving someone you did love, feelings just don't end that way. It's o.k. to always love someone, he probably will always be in your heart, a piece of you, after all, everyone who comes into our lives and we love and even those we do not add another piece of the puzzle to our personal identities. I'm never ashamed to say about a past love, "I will always love him", but that does not mean you won't have room in your heart to love someone else eventually, our hearts are very big.

I feel your pain. I left and divorced my husband who I was with for 25 years, because he couldn't/wouldn't stop drinking. I thought that leaving would make him stop and when he didn't, I filed and now I'm divorced from someone I have always and always will love. :(

Don't think it ever goes away. You just learn to accept the fact that they aren't there. Loving someone with all your heart and soul often does not leave anything for yourself. Take one day at a time.

i struggle with my feelings for my ex too. we are in constant contact because we share our daughter, and sometimes she does stuff that is so sweet and nice, i remember how much I love her. then she will do something totaly selfish, and I am forced to be reminded why we cant be together. Its really hard sometimes

I have a different perspective, how do you love him enough (and yourself) to finally let him go? I understand what it is like to be devistated, sad, lonely, you name it. My stbx was my first and last person to share things with each day and now he is the last person I pray for at night. I know I will always have a place in my heart for him it's just that I have begun to accept the changes in my path of life. You deserve someone who will cherish you and call you, try to remember that there is always someone who will listen besides our ex's.

In my case I guess it has turned to be more about dignity and self-respect. I could attempt to allow the feelings I have for to control me and she will continue to use me as "plan B". I know I am a plan A man. If I am not the first choice then I don't want to be considered a choice.

I have to think about the pain that her decision has caused me, our children, friends and family. The her behavior says, "I do not care!" I can listen to the words of her mouth which is a lie factory or watch her actions to see the truth. The truth sets us free but it hurts like hell.

I wish I knew, I have to see him all the time to transfer our kids back and forth and I can't look him in the face. I am afraid I will cry if I look at him. I miss him terribly, he was my best friend and I valued our marriage above all else in my life and he left me out of the blue. It bugs me that no matter what I do or how well I seem to be doing I think of him all day. I know it doesn't hurt as much as it used to, so with time the ache is a little less. Hugs to you, we are in the same place emotionally I guess just keep moving forward with your life.