
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
How do you move on when you're still in love?

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My wife of 8 yrs filed for divorce on 2/14/07 after a very short(3weeks) separation. We were also seeing a counselor during that time. She said that she just doesn't love me anymore. We have 4 yr old daughter. I have supported her financially throughout our relationship until last year when she started a new career. After she filed, I learned of a boyfriend through her work (traveling). I also entered a treatment facility for alcohol abuse. (I was a functioning alcoholic, professional banker with the same company for 10 yrs. I never drank at home or during the day, only after work most days from 5-6 usually. My thoughts were that if I was going to get divorced, I did not want to be one of those guys at the end of the bar every night feeling sorry for himself.) People close to me tell me that I should be happy, that she has done me a favor, but I feel so abandoned, betrayed and left behind. I am miserable trying to find closure and answers to so many questions. She will barely speak to me about anything other than our daughter. She is emotionless and cold and I wonder who the hell she is because I have never seen this side of her before.
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I am also on the other side of the coin. My not quite ex husband was involved in a "friendship" that has obviously turned into more eventhough he won't admit it. We have been together 10 years and married 9. We have a 3 year old son. You are so right it is hard to move on when you still love a person, and you don't "understand" why or what you did wrong. One thing that has helped is total honesty with myself (the signs were there) and self reflection (what could I have done differently). We must remember that we can't control anyone but ourselves.
Why is it that only after they have cheated on us that they belive that they were not in love with us anymore?
My best advice..remind yourself of what you wife did to you. A person does not do that to someoen they love. Why should you love someone who doesn't love you the same way?
And at some point, we see how pointless it all is.
Our relationships are not what they seemed. It is not our fault. Since we are the ones holding on - it is clear we were not the ones changing the rules of the game without telling our partner.
To answer your question - you don't move on when you are still in love.
I sit here tonight, with my children tucked in safe and sound. My wife had dinner with George... not the guy she cheated with back in October of 2006 when she moved out and filed for divorce... George is the new guy. And on Tuesday, my wife flies off to be with George for their summer vacation together.
Yet, she has the audacity to call me and leave me messages about missing me and wanting to talk.
After 10 years of marriage and two precious children, I deserve better than this.
So do you.
We have to own our love, in my opinion. Our love comes from us. We need to retake our lives. Live our lives.
Our significant others need to become insignificant before we can truly move on.
That's how I see it all tonight. I am tired. Tired of hurting.
And I am sorry for your pain too. I really am sorry... because like the other posters here, I know this pain all too well.