So sorry for your pain.. but at least you have not wasted 20 years like many of us had...

try to focus on friends and work, get yourself into counselling, join a new meetup.com group...e tc..

don't despair.. in hindsight you will be grateful she was honest with you.

I am very sorry for your loss. The pain can be so horrible it is physical some times. Just take it one day at a time, focus on making yourself a better person, more involved in life, and one day it won't hurt so much. Yes, you will get over it to a point, and you probably will even love again. . . it just takes time.

i am sorry, it does hurt so very bad. I have been married many years and left my wife. i thought that people who say that i love you, but i am not in love with you are full of crap... until i started to feel like that. there is a difference. i have looked back in my relationship and tried to figure out the spot in time where my relationship slipped to loving you from in love with you. it has been a very long time since i have been in love. it is good that this has been identified, because people who get married (both people) who are not unconditionally in love will have a difficult time making it last. be thankful that, despite the pain now, that this will possibly save much more pain later and many more issues that require much more logistics issues. take care of yourself and know that you are in the right place to vent.

I, too, am sorry for the pain you are experiencing. It is aweful. Your future may seem dead now, but as you work your way through the grief of this loss, the future will brighten and you will realize that you can be happy again.

The beginning is the hardest....wont sugar coat it. But atleast you found this place early on. I waited like 2 months before I found this place. And for me those were the worst days and nights for me....I can remember the pain and cries. But as soon as I found DS....it was like everything changed. I felt a lil comfort just after one night of reading journals...and getting hugs from everyone....it was such a comforting feeling to know I wasnt alone. Or others could speak with experience about situations I went through or what to expect. All I can say is...you have found a good place for support....YOUR NOT ALONE! And like always...time does heal and it is true no matter how much you cant even conceive the idea that it could ever get better......I was a big skeptic about that...very big. Yet here I am ...giving back advice based on that principle of time healing......I wish you the best amigo. (((hugs)))