he is filling a void with whatever comes along, you have more pride, and concern for your children, all in all your the better person. mine started 1 day after he moved out with an ex girlfriend that he"hated" yeah right!! was he with her while we were married. you never know those things and probably don't want to. remeber he's probably using her because he's lonely and knows he lost out

I miss my ex..but my aim is getting better!

Wow - you need to separate if you can. He sounds like a selfish jerk and your sanity is on the line - his slumber parties actually sound emotionally abusive.
OK, you might think I am joking, but I heard this in a psychology class. Eat or take something that makes you nausous and then get a picture of him and focus on the picture and the nausea so that you associate him with the sick feeling. There are other ways to do it and this might be a bit extreme - what i thought - but I guess it works.

I think we can only forgive once we really heal.

We can only heal once we stop hurting.

It takes time... for me it's been over a year 1/2... I'm healing, I hurt less, but I still hurt.

Therefore, I keep distance.

Good luck to you

The absolute best revenge is to get happy and move on. I know it's easier said than don't but it's true.

moving on is the most difficult transistion especailly when you have deep rooted feelings. The love you had felt isnt as simple as turning away as our spouses showed us. We are better then that, we know how to love unconitionally and that is where the hurt is. I too am tired of this "time" thing. Look to find strength where you can find it.I think we all have ways of getting through this and it is finding that one moment when we can finally say I am done, I can't be like this anymore and we just start living again.

I feel the same way but you have to move on. I am having a very hard time myself. get out there and stay busy. get involved in new things maybe you will meet someone new and this will all just be a bad memory.

You have to "fake it til you make it". First you concentrate all your energy on forcing yourself to get out of bed in the morning, and actaully brushing your teeth, going to work, and playing with your kids. After you've mastered that, you start forcing yourself to actually cook something besides Spaghettios again. Then you force yourself to do something that someone else might think of as fun - shopping? a pedicure? a movie? Then you force yourself to try something new, meet new people, and do everything possible to make your kids happy. One day, you'll wake up, and realize you aren't forcing yourself anymore, you're really there - you'll have a happy moment, and then a happy day. It takes time and there's no easy solution, but I promise you'll get through.

My two cents...I am a little farther along than it sounds like you are. I was married for 32 years when he replaced me with a younger, blonder edition. The things are helping me keep my sanity (barely) are having friends to talk to. Counseling didn't help me because they just say stuff like "..and how did it make you feel when he said that?" Your close friends and close family will let you go on and on. I know I repeated myself, but being able to say things instead of keeping them inside really helped. And follow the advice about keeping BUSY. You will again realize that you are a worthy person; you DO matter in this world. At this point I am not afraid that I will never trust again - I am afraid that I WILL.

It has been weeks only, but I feel just like you!
I cannot just stop loving him. I pray it does not last "that" long.

I find it that the ones that leave always take it easier. But eventually we do pick ourselves up and try to move forward exspecially for the kids sack.

I caught my stbx sleeping with her so called man and my daughter in the same place. One phone call to my lawyer straightened that right out. It definitely wrong and leaves a lasting impression on a childs mind.

I think when someone jumps form one relationship to the other it is not what we think. It has NOTHING to do with the other partner it is them looking to fill a void of lonliness. Unless they have been with the OW for some time than there can genuinly be feelings there. As for me I would rather be alone and prove to myself and my daughters that I can and will be a strong independent woman. People who go from 1 relationship to the other without working on themselves to are doomed. That is why it is called a rebound! I hope you start to feel better and work on yourself. I know for me I have been in therapy for about 6 weeks now and that has helped a lot and this sight is amazing!

I have a clause in my divorce document and had the same in our seperation. No males not related allowed overnight. Also, as far as getting over him. You must become indifferent, which takes time, and understanding that you'll be better off without him. The hurting will stop, it will soon turn to empathy for him, and then also you're doing all you can to protect your children thus fueling your fire. You cannot stop him from seeing someone else, just say, she's in for a ride when she knows the real him... To that, I wish you the best.

You can forgive, but not forget. Take it one day at a time only time will heal the pain. This is my firt time on DS, but from what I have read we are not alone. We need to support each other in order to move on with our lives.