I understand. I am going through the same emotional battle. Venting and letting it out here has been a big help. Hopefully it will help you too.

I can relate. I keep asking people when does it stop hurting - they say at least a year or until you find someone else. It's the emotinal rollercoaster that is difficult. My Therapist said it is the
attachment, and not the love that I am mourning. How do you justlet go of someone after 17 years of marriage and act as if you don't exist, or at best treat you as a casual friend. That's the part I can't seem to wrap my mind around. This started for me back in September and I am still reeling. I tried everything to try and "fix it", but if you are the only one trying it can't be fixed. I finally realized a few weeks ago that I was losing a piece of myself everyday that I allowed him to emotionally abuse me. I had to get my self-respect back before there was nothing left of me. If you don't have self-respect for yourself, no one else will either. It's time to focus on you, but I think the waves of pain and hurt just keep coming and eventually they will lessen. I haven't hit that point yet either! I just keep wishing that we could have our lives back to the way it was, but I know that is not healthy for me or my kids. Try to stay busy and find new things to do that you may not have done while he was around. Everyone tells me there is life after divorce, I just don't see it now either. Stay strong!

Mshell6191,
You will have a change in your feelings towards him when you are ready. You will start to put the pieces to the puzzle back together a little at a time. You cannot, realistically, walk away from 15 years with no feelings and had no preperation for it. You feel whatever you have to, anger, sadness, hope, whatever it is, you are entitled to it.
You will find yourself and, slowly, but surely, it will come back together for you. My thoughts are with you.

I'm actually starting to accepet that I probably won't ever stop loving my husband. I can't help that.. but that doesn't mean I can't love myself MORE! I also believe I can love someone else again.

It is hard when you aren't the one who wants the marriage to be over, to let it go... but you have to because it takes two people to want to be married for a marriage.

The emotions are normal. Go with them and accept them for what they are. They are your mind's way of healing.

Be kind to yourself and focus on you. In time this will become easier to handle.

I wish I had these answers too. I have a similar situation, and think it would be so much easier just to hate him, but I can't. The thing that worked for me this weekend (2 days, so who knows for long term!) was to alter my expectations of him. I don't expect him to act like a husband. It just leads to disappointment. I did expect him to act like a friend, and a father, and he was able to meet those expectations. The whole process is definitely an emotional roller coaster, though.