So, its been a little over a month since my ex and I ended our 6 year relationship mutually. I never thought it would hurt like this, but it does. It's like I have days where I'm okay. The world doesn't seem so gloomy and sad. I have days where I can smile and think of our times together without crying or breaking in two. Then, I have these days where I cannot do anything but cry. They usually come in groups of 2 or 3 days where that's all I want to do. I feel so hopeless, helpless, and useless. All of our friends told both of us that they were still going to be there for us, but neither of us has gotten a phone call, email, or text. The only way either of us has talked to them is if we iniate the contact. My ex doesn't want to talk on the phone with me, because it's very rough on him to hear my voice. And I always end up crying at the end of the phone call... He made it very clear from the beginning that he did not want me out of his life and that he wished we could remain friends since we were friends for a couple of months before we began our relationship. Anyway...I just feel like I'm not moving forward with the grieving process. I feel like I keep taking steps backward. I feel like no one cares how I'm doing or what I'm feeling. I just feel like no one understands how bad this hurts and how much I just want to feel him holding me and kissing me again. I just don't know how to move forward. I've been angry. I've been uncontrollably sad. I've been depressed. But...I cannot find happiness. When, I think about happines...I think about him. Ugh. How do I move forward with this process?...
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