Hello. I'm new here. I was married to an alcoholic for one year (with him 5). Our divorce will be final tomorrow (1-30). He walked out on our first anniversary (drama is his middle name!) and since then I've made huge strides, however, it was brought to my attention that I am still very angry. When I thought about I realized that, yes, I can't let go of this anger. I can't let go of him, though I thought I had. I think of all the lies, all I had to put up with, the emotional abuse and in the end, the physical abuse. I can't date as I fear and resent men. I don't trust a word they say. I know, in my heart, that this is wrong. Not all men are like him. But these walls I've erected are thick. I am in many ways, naive and this in and of itself is a vulnerability, a liability. This is the first time, since my early 20's (I'm now 51) that I've been without a husband. That I've been alone. I know that aloneness is not the end of the world, that there are much worse things (like being in a marriage where every day was a lesson in fear), but I would love to be able to at least date once in while without constantly looking at a man and thinking he's full of it that his motives are other than kind. This anger is a living, breathing entity and I must let it go now or live life without the possibility of ever entering into a truly loving relationship. Any suggestions out there? Thank you for taking the time to read this!
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