Lost, I am sorry, I don't think there is an easy answer to that. It is one of the defense mechanism that our mind uses to cope with things that are overwhelming. I feel like I either shut down or cry.

I really do feel for you. I know how angry/sad/devastated you must be. I'm there myself, but don't let let this think take over your life forever. Be you, stand tall, and get through this.

You have a right to be angry! Don't let anger fully consume your body. People tell me it gets easier. I think it will. Praying for you.

I don't know, but when you find the answer please let me know.

I wish I had answers for you. But at this time I am in the same boat you are. So maybe we can help each other when you find some answer or I do we can let each other know. Good luck to you. I am here for you.

After 2 unwanted divorces I would have a hard time trusting another. You want a cold feeling...try to imagine being alone forever.

Hey Teej, you talk to people. People like here on DS - people who care, care about you, care about the situation, care about themselves and the healing process. You know from being on here that there are wonderful people in this world. I know that I worry about being jaded about men, and love, and marriage. But I am personally bound and determined to talk to others, learn from others, and be reminded by the small and large kindnesses that there are better things for the future. Be strong. Be steadfast. Be open. And talk to us here. Thoughts are with you - and with all the others on this post who feel the same.

The solution I found that works for me: realizing yes its a crappy (nicest word I can type here) situation, yes part of my life and love is ending, BUT my life is NOT OVER.....and I'll be damned if I'll let him or my own cruddy emotions ruin what time I have left. I'm going to try to make the best of what I have NOW and hopefully create a good future for myself. I refuse to become bitter over this, just isn't worth it to me.

maybe you need to feel all this so you can move beyond it; life is full of tests and lessons and they repeat until we get them right and can move beyond it.

how's that?

Lost I thought the same thing. I did say the same thing to my best friend and she tried to tell me that I would one day feel better. Of course I didn't want to hear that crap but somehow I feel/felt myself coming out of the fog. I prayed that I would stay open despite what has happened and little by little I am open to other possibilities although VERY VERY CAUTIOUS!

You can't always stop yourself from feeling something but you can always stop yourself from reacting. I agree with amystrong, you talk to people.

I think that we are all going to have our "mean & nasty" times...times that we don't even like ourselves...but we didn't go Into this as Mean and Nasty People.

I don't believe that we are coming out Cold, Angry or Bitter. That is a protection phase. It will turn loose.

Think of how Hard it is to change a personality trait. You Can't. You can bend and pretend, but you end up Back where you started.

Don't worry. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I'd comment, but all I have to say is exactly what Amy already said, and the same thing we've already talked about. In the end, it's up to you. Who do you want to be?

Just do the best you can. Just remember, don't let her ruin the wonderful loving an that you are. There is someone out there who will love you unconditionaly. You just have to keep the faith. < I pray for you.

By feeling your feelings: don't shut down and try to block them. Feel them, and they will pass. Otherwise, they stick around.

I was with u..hell I still am...after my fianc left m I completely and totally shut down...I stopped talkin to my friends and family..stayed home all the time and all i wanted to do was just watch tv and not think bout anything,,,
I felt safe and comfy at home alone and hated beng around people...
I was so bitter angry and hated the world...I hated myself...
I saw what i was doing, I saw the miserable, angry bitter person I was turning into but i couldnt help it...
Its been 7 months and I am only now starting to feel a lil better...
the best thing i can recommend is to try and think of some things u are grateful for in ur life...At first they may have to be lil tiny, pety things like
i am grateful for the food i ate today or a cherished memory from ur childhood or even the lil bit of sleep u got the night b4..I know how angry u are and how cold u are becoming and i know u r having a hard time feelin gratful for anything right now...u just have to keep thinkin of all the small things that we all take for granted everyday...
if u cant bring urself to feel grateful for anything right now - then try some smaller steps...example
when u find urself dwelling over something neg that happened that day try to stop urself and remind urse;f that it could be worse...
I used to blow a fuse if someone tried to cut me off in traffic ..i would get so angry and felt like they were doing it to piss me off...when i caught myself feelin and thinkin that way I tried to think of what COULD have happened..."so he cut me off and now im stuck at the light and will be late...but thank god i was able to stop in time and avoid an accident"
trying to put a positive spin on things also helps put things in perspective...
its hard but it will get easier to find things to b grateful for ....
Also as much as u dont want to let people in or u want to be alone - u need to force urself to have some support and contact with others u trust...
keep busy and try to do things that may help make u a better person...if u can try and find some place to volunteer for...