My STBX went into a deep depression 2 years ago, probably triggered by a combination of financial problems and a family history of emotional problems. He had a brief affair (6 months) and began to self medicate with alcohol. He then broke off the affair and I took him back. His depression continued and I tried my best to work with him, he told me that he still had feelings for the OW, he would never seek help or go to counseling with me, continued to be depressed and drink every day getting drunk often. We almost lost our home, lived with our utilities off, and little food on the table. I worked every day and managed to keep my 3 sons together and put the oldest one through college. I took a bus to work to save money on gas and walked when I had to. He just began to spend money that we didn't have, and started to date other women. he signed up for match.com and spent money (flowers and gifts) to attract other women, and went out almost every night. Finally I filed for divorce - now I am depressed and he just continues to party and spend money. He now takes viagra (never really cared about pleasing me) but then again I was always patient with him because I loved him. I just can't seem to move forward and dwell on the fact that another woman is seeing the best in him while I stood by him in his darkest hours just because I loved him and tried to keep my family together.
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