I've been in an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage for over 15 years and have recently decided to get a divorce after the abuse turned physical (he drugged and then raped me in December of '07). My biggest problem right now is that even though my friends and family have told me repeatedly I've made the right decision, my conscience keeps beating me up. I have a very high sense of honor and knew when I married him it wouldn't be easy to make the marriage work...he's been divorced twice before, but I never dreamed it would turn out anything like this. I don't make promises lightly and do what's necessary to carry them out, but have been told trying to keep this particular one could end up killing me. So how do I shut my head up and how do I deal with the thought of possibly buying my life at the expense of another's (he's been suicidal before and says if he loses me, he loses all hope and has no point in living).
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