Was this your choice or hers? If it was yours then she is understandably hurt and angry and you should just give her some space. If it was her decision than it seems she should be working with you not against you. For the sake of your children you need to get it together. They probably already know something is going on but they should not be out in the middle of your marital troubles and for the time being made the center of both of your worlds.

okie dokie.. are you my EX?.. this is so like our home before the divorce.

I say don't leave.
Get use to the silent, cold treatment and stick it out.

now. that out of the way.. WTF do you think you are accomplishing not telling the kids?..
Be honest.. sit down and tell them what is happening. If anything you are confusing them with this psycho behaviour and they know something is up.
Kids are frighten by the unknown...give them some information. No gritty details.. just the basics.

Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce.
Mommy and Daddy will be living in the house still.
Mommy and Daddy love you.
Mommy and Daddy will always be your Mommy and Daddy.
Mommy and Daddy will ALWAYS love you.

now get off the pot and talk to the kids!

She filed for a seperation and I changed it to a D. I feel(and she almost said it)that she was trying to "scare me" with the seperation. I have been unhappy for a few years and trying to stay together for the kids. It didn't work needless to say.
All I want now is to just try and get along. Talk and listen to each other. This is hard enough as it is.

Sorry for the outburst.

My Ex drove us nuts.. with all the games, trying to drive us crazy so I would leave and he would force the sale of the house. Telling pple hurtful things about me.. and wanting a psychiatric evaluation etc... Things the Judge said were nuts and told him not to even go there.

He was in the house til after the divorce.
Drove me nuts.. the stress was too much for the kids in the end.

but..it was his house too.. even though he stopped paying the payments and the bills...

Stay in the house. Be cordial.

TELL THE KIDS!

Read my other post CanaianR, and thank you for your post. I agree so much.

Holy sh*t! You sound like my STBX! Exactly like my situation, except nothing's been filed yet. So, I am coming from the other side, and here is what I advise you (since my STBX seems to feel exactly like you).

You can't appease her. Nothing you can do or say is going to change her attitude, behavior, demeanor, and in fact, will likely make it worse. (My STBX is trying all these things that are a day late and $10 short and it's only irritating the hell outta me because when I -- repeatedly and clearly -- asked for them, he saw no reason to give them.) It's not worth it to twist yourself into 100 knots trying something so utterly futile. She, for whatever reason, has had it. Don't knock yourself out trying to create something that can no longer be created. Use whatever energy you have remaining to take care of yourself, and your kids.

I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there.
Becky

As your moniker implies, you are a nice guy. When my stbx did the deed over a month ago, we agreed to this simple approach while we both sorted out our lives and found alternate accomodation. If we were roommates at college, how would we treat the roommate? How would we like to be treated by the roommate? Two estranged people can live in harmony by agreeing to certain rules (that's why most people drive on their side of the road). Ask her if she would like to live by a roommmate agreement. Nothing to lose. But she does.