
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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My attn. told me not to move out. We are going thru a D and have school age kids.
My STBX is going around blabing lies to everyone(which I TRY to ignor)about what I do and don't do and she is just being so cold at home. She doesn't say hi, bye or even igknowlage that i'm there. (this is in front of the kids) She only talks to me when she wants something or to do something with the kids.
Anyway, how can I help her get over this? I am trying to act normal as possible with the kids here but when I talk and get zero reaction from her it is hard. The other half of the problem is the kids don't know YET about the D! That is another topic. I have tried to talk to her, it helped for about 1 hour. LOL
What to do, what to do?
My STBX is going around blabing lies to everyone(which I TRY to ignor)about what I do and don't do and she is just being so cold at home. She doesn't say hi, bye or even igknowlage that i'm there. (this is in front of the kids) She only talks to me when she wants something or to do something with the kids.
Anyway, how can I help her get over this? I am trying to act normal as possible with the kids here but when I talk and get zero reaction from her it is hard. The other half of the problem is the kids don't know YET about the D! That is another topic. I have tried to talk to her, it helped for about 1 hour. LOL
What to do, what to do?
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I say don't leave.
Get use to the silent, cold treatment and stick it out.
now. that out of the way.. WTF do you think you are accomplishing not telling the kids?..
Be honest.. sit down and tell them what is happening. If anything you are confusing them with this psycho behaviour and they know something is up.
Kids are frighten by the unknown...give them some information. No gritty details.. just the basics.
Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce.
Mommy and Daddy will be living in the house still.
Mommy and Daddy love you.
Mommy and Daddy will always be your Mommy and Daddy.
Mommy and Daddy will ALWAYS love you.
now get off the pot and talk to the kids!
All I want now is to just try and get along. Talk and listen to each other. This is hard enough as it is.
My Ex drove us nuts.. with all the games, trying to drive us crazy so I would leave and he would force the sale of the house. Telling pple hurtful things about me.. and wanting a psychiatric evaluation etc... Things the Judge said were nuts and told him not to even go there.
He was in the house til after the divorce.
Drove me nuts.. the stress was too much for the kids in the end.
but..it was his house too.. even though he stopped paying the payments and the bills...
Stay in the house. Be cordial.
TELL THE KIDS!
You can't appease her. Nothing you can do or say is going to change her attitude, behavior, demeanor, and in fact, will likely make it worse. (My STBX is trying all these things that are a day late and $10 short and it's only irritating the hell outta me because when I -- repeatedly and clearly -- asked for them, he saw no reason to give them.) It's not worth it to twist yourself into 100 knots trying something so utterly futile. She, for whatever reason, has had it. Don't knock yourself out trying to create something that can no longer be created. Use whatever energy you have remaining to take care of yourself, and your kids.
I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there.
Becky