The next girl I am with is gonna be uglier than hell. Before it went to crap, teh X always said "never date / marry a pretty girl". And she is GORGEOUS. Which means that every guy wanted her. And so when she strayed, she had options. So, yeah, ugly.

Seriously, I think the one thing that I would change would be to talk all serious things out early on if it seemed to be getting serious. If we had similar ideas on things like career, place to live, kids, etc, then I think that those are the standards that I would look for.

Other than the basic honesty and communication of course.

And UUGGGLY.

Kindof reminds me of that song.,.

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, you have to make an ugly wonman your wife...

Yeah, I don't know if I would say my standards have changed much. I do feel that there is more to a person than just looks, so have been taking that into consideration.

All right guys....it's not about looks! They cheated because of their loose morals! Even ugly women cheat--my x's friend's wife (shudder). For those of us who actually BELIEVE in commitment and monogamy, it's not that we didn't have options! But ya see...I never saw it as OPTIONS! I was married for Pete's sake!!! It wasn't a sacrifice to be faithful!

Hmmmmm....I think a thorough back ground check, full medical exam, lie detector test, credit report, and a private investigator might be in order before I consider dating someone again--LOL!

Yes your standards will change but the next woman who sets your chemistry set on fire will be as unique as the one who has just left you so it is irrelevant. For me, I agree with Garrison. Decide on who you want to be and communicate that up front, and never be desperate. BTW, ugly is a concept. If she is beautiful inside ...
I am looking inside myself to see what could have driven her away. The list wa long but then I shortened it down to three things.
One: Love myself and feel good about how I look, and how I treat all people. Two: Express love by simple acts every day.
Three: I have written what I learned from my time with her and I apply those lessons. Example: if she wants to buy a house that we can't afford, she can. But with her money.
You will come out of this a leaner, stronger, more wise man

The sad thing about all of this is I did my soul searching and I learned what I did wrong and know that if given the opportunity I could right all that I did wrong. I would prefer it to be with my wife and keep our family but she doesn't want it right now or ever. I just know right now I have to just keep it together nad face each day as it comes. I hope that someday I can be happy again I wish that for all of us.

I have no doubt I will date again, and the one piece of advice I have for myself is to be honest with her and with myself.

If it ain't working let her know. Don't hesitate to bring up issues b/c they will only fester and make the relationship intolerable.

Wow this was difficult to read...thanks Garrison! LOL That whole ugly thing throws be for a loop. Stbx always told me I was ugly so next time around...

*he better tell I'm beautiful!
*he WILL have NO past w/ drugs, alcohol, porn
addiction or video games!
*he will be a family guy who loves his own family AND children
*he will have direction,purpose and goals
*he will be sweet,sincere and most of all honest and have the highest integrity
*he will be faithful and take his vows seriously...ummmm forsaking all others!
*he will be a fabulous father and role model
*someone who can communicate without a temper tantrum

andmy list goes on....does he exist?

From where I was, there only one way to go and thats UP! My standads are set to high and I will accept NOTHING less for me or my son!!!!

My standards haven't changed, but I do know the next woman I am with will have been cheated on herself - why? Because then I know in my heart that it will never happen to me again! Since we both will have been cheated on, neither of us will do that to the other because we know what it's like and will not ever put the other through that type of hurt again.

Also she Will NOT be into porn or cyber sexing. Those are my standards!

I think we fell in love too quick - we had smiliar fun interests, but next time I want similiar interests and also when it comes to:
-raising a family
-religion
-financial
-futures plans/retirement
-communication skills

we should be able to agree on these issues before we move forward.

For me Hookers work better! You will still spend the money on her and still get screwed in the end, but don't have to get hurt in the long run!!

Just my thoughts though!

Mamaste-with you on the ugly thing...but I am sure that god had his reasons...

If there is ever anyone else, they must have a soul.

I have grown up, but what I wanted has never changed.

Mine, yes ex I chose primarily orignially on looks, thinking I was a "lucky guy". boy was I ever. Lucky to get screwed bad in the end.
That being said, the women I know that whenever she's lucky enough to rope in a great catch like me, will:
be educated
self reliant
great family values
not a slut
strong beliefs
selfless and giving
doesn't stand in the mirror 45 of 60 minutes
didn't just get out of a relationship and if was in one for a long time, is over him.
doesn't mind I have more hair on my body than on top of my head. lol