Man, where to start, just need to vent. this is one of those days where all stressors have come to head. Work, My parents health and living siltuation, away from home traveling for work, problems with people at work and their pesonal issues, cell service is out in the bum fuck town i am staying in due to strorm, and last but not least the pending separation agreement that i will be reviewing with the lawyer. After pressing my wife for some type of preview ,the details i have heard are frightening. With not stating any financial info here , all i can say is how am i going to live and afford my own life. the new life i deserve and need in the future. hard not to feel as though i am getting everything rammed up my ass. She even thinks i am going to remain on the morgtage, she does not understand that i will have to live in an apartment the rest of my life if this is the case, while she enjoys the home we made. with the kids etc etc etc. One hell of a deal after so much time together from someone who wants out. I am beond stress right now, boiling with no way to let the preasure out, Wish i could cry, wish i could scream, wish i could disconnect and flip the switch. wish i could go to the other side of the country and leave it all behind (cant leave my kids though). And when we speak ,i just ask for some fairness. She has the ability to earn more than i do with her profession, but i think she is planning to work the same hours (not full time) and not increase her income potential. life sucks, you get stripped of all you love , then stripped of the ability to start over if you can even find the will to. i really wish now she would have just abandoned the whole family so i could rebuild with what is left. I dont deserve this, i am fearing not coming to an agreement and then the battle begins. I want this to be over and i want my life back.
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