
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I am new and this is my first post here, so hiya to all of you.
I have two girls, and a husband, I guess soon to be ex husband, I adore him, I love him and every moment since he left, hurts.
I am so utterly sad, so alone. I know he is hurt, he has been stupid, has caused me much more pain by using words to insult me and I guess make his walk away easier for him but for me there is so much anger saddness and grief. It is like he has died. My youngest child is deverstated completly in every way and I sit and watch her turn off. My oldest child is so enraged.
I am so scared of becoming bitter, that no-one will ever find me attractive, that I will never find love with another, that I will hate him, that I will not find me for I am lost, where will I find a job, how will I cope alone, will have to leave my home, I will go insane, I am just so messed up. how do I get up every morning and when will I get up and not think of him.
I have two girls, and a husband, I guess soon to be ex husband, I adore him, I love him and every moment since he left, hurts.
I am so utterly sad, so alone. I know he is hurt, he has been stupid, has caused me much more pain by using words to insult me and I guess make his walk away easier for him but for me there is so much anger saddness and grief. It is like he has died. My youngest child is deverstated completly in every way and I sit and watch her turn off. My oldest child is so enraged.
I am so scared of becoming bitter, that no-one will ever find me attractive, that I will never find love with another, that I will hate him, that I will not find me for I am lost, where will I find a job, how will I cope alone, will have to leave my home, I will go insane, I am just so messed up. how do I get up every morning and when will I get up and not think of him.
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It's ok to feel a little self-pity for a brief timeframe, but it is up to you to provide strength and leadership for your children.
Other people will see you for who you are. If you are needy and insecure it will be difficult to meet anyone of substance. If you are stable and confident it will be MUCH easier.
(I know, I know easier said than done at this point. But it will get better. A LOT better. Happiness is on the horizon, as well as peace of mind. It just takes time, and there are no shortcuts)
Notice i am not saying get counseling, etc. I am not pimping that option b/c i see your dilema as a fear of being alone, not truly a fear of losing HIM.
Remember, there are thousands of people in your county who would probably LOVE to trade places with you. You still have a lot to be proud of, and focus on the good things. Health. Children. Etc.
Hugs to ya jolaw. HANG IN THERE!!!
I agree. Just take a few deep breathes and remember that you are in the ealy stages and it does get better...I promise!
We are here if you need to talk.
Seek some help and hang in there.
a lot of us on here have been in your situation. everyone deals with it differently. take the time to read the discussion threads and peep's journals. i have found complete solace here. in fact, i dunno where i'd be now without DS.
this is a great group of folks and a great support network. i hope you find the peace you seek. good luck to you!
like tup said...you're at the early stages of the process. everyone handles it differently. i am at a different "stage" than you are, but we all sometimes go back & forth. i've taken 3 steps forward only to go a mile backwards some days. and some days....you simply gotta take it second by second, then progress to minute by minute and so forth. your focus has to be on yourself and your children. it's hard honey...it's really really hard. but again, you are not alone.
and again...i'm gonna give tup credit...he is right - people will see you for who you are.
if you've forgotten who you are..after a little time has passed you can start focusing on finding that woman again. that strong, beautiful, intelligent woman who is inside you. she's there...she's just a little lost right now. but you will find a way. you WILL FIND A WAY!!!
everyone that is on this site has been somewhere on the path you are on. there is a wealth of help, support, friendship and yes, love, here. use it, soak it up...and then, when you're ready...you can pass that on...
peace sister...
All of your emotions are normal. They are just on auto-pilot and soaring to unsafe altitudes and then dropping back down like a rock. Nothing you can do but ride it out. Gotta hate em! Just hold on; it's a rough ride but what you learn in the process will make you a better woman...not a bitter one. You will make it through this if you stay honest with yourself and seek help! Just like you're doing right now. Jungle Jim said it SO well. "Keep typing." Keep talking. Try to push those negative thoughts away. Be prepared for the angry thoughts, the thoughts of taking the easy way out and choking on your pride to accept what you don't deserve. You don't deserve to be treated like this. You're children don't either. Remember that and you will be fine ....sorry, but in keeping with the no BS rule ... I must warn you, it just won't be anytime real soon.
Hang in there! We're here for you! Margie
I thank you all for that.
Then I feel so screwed up even more as I find a group of people that care that don't know me and have no obligation to me and the one I was to grow old with, my best buddy is off in party mode living it up. So the self pity kicks in and I hate him more.