That does not sound like a healthy environment for your children. It is extremely selfish and inappropriate for him to vent his problems with you with the children.

What an ass using your childern as weapons aganst you. You've got some self control if you can stay calm. I wouldnt be able to.

it is sad when kids are involved one parent trys to filter all that through them to get to the other parent. If he loves his kids he needs to understand the kids should not be used this way. He needs to nuture them just as much if not more when you guys were together. I would just bring it up and ask him if he thinks he could be doing more harm then good. Like I said if he loes his kids he will do the right thing. I am also not suggesting he doesn't love his kids if he just doesn't see whathe id doing is wrong

I always consider if the person I want to say something to will hear me and understand. If the answer is they will listen and consider then I proceed, if I believe they will just ignor and keep doing what they want, I go out back have a loud talk with myself.

You are always going to be doing clean up with the Children over him.

He is just playing games! You just keep the kids focused on what is really important.

Just never say anything bad against their father in front of them. You can swear and cuss all you want about him, but not in front of the kids.

sounds quite typical and common, no? I'm sure the same sentiment was uttered at least once on Two and a half men.

tell him you have some concerns about the kids, then let him know what he says to them is inappropriate and that they seem unhappy, put it in his lap. tell him, if all he has to say to them is negative stuff that upsets them, perhaps it would be best he not take them until he is feeling more positive about things.

Yeah let me call him

It is civorce he has the right to his feelings just like you have a right to your;s BUT the asshole should not act upon those feelings. The children must always come first.

GGGGRRRRRRR if there's one thing that REALLY PISSES ME OFF, is using the kids as a pawn in a divorce.. HE needs a "reality" check here. I would also be contacting your attorney on this & letting him/her know what he's saying to the kids & put a stop to it. I had to do this with my kids' dad. I actually had to have it put in the papers that there would be NO derogatory remarks made to the children or within earshot of the children about the other parent. (HE could NOT say anything to the kids about me without it being "negative" or "derogatory") So, I had to put a stop to it for the kids' sake. The KIDS do NOT need or deserve to hear this stuff.. "Keep Your Chin UP!~!"

first before venting to him, you should talk more with the kids about just being kids. second, your ex should not be discussing ANYTHING adult related with their kids. All he's doing is either A strengthening his position with the kids, or B. making them resent him by talking badly about their mommy. They will stick up for you at some point, and will be his loss. Your kids need to know in non adult terms how perhaps the money he's giving you goes to help support them while you're in school, etc. Also, I know in my divorce decree, neither of us can talk about the other in a bad light and need to promote a healthy relationship with the other parent. Don't EVER stoop to his level and talk bad about him to the kids. Encourage their relationship with their father. If he's that pissed off for a long time, they'll get it, and iwll be his loss.
Now as far as how to handle the ex, stress the importance of creating a synergistic relationship that's healthy for the kids. Just state your concerns about it not being fair for the kids to be in the middle of adult situations and then also, you should possibly talk to your attorney about this and as well document how the conversations went. Yes, you want a dad in their lives, but a healthy, non-conflicting one that's not bitter or resenting being broke. Maybe since he only has them on weekends, he has time to get a 2nd job to have enough money to take the kids somewhere. Also, the kids don't really care about going anywhere, rather spending quality time with dad, maybe watching a movie, playing games, going to the park, etc. That's what being a parent is, resourcefulness with limited resources at times.

i am sure that you are upset--he is being very foolish and hurtful to the children, however, if you think that there is any chance he is saying those things--which are really terrible to voice to children--knowing that they will tell you, then you need to be very careful how you respond. my stbx can be hurtful like this and yours may say things knowing you will be upset and then call him.

I would try to have children around people who are happily married (not that good at this myself, though) and, perhaps, just casually provide a list of free weekend activities. that is really sad, though.

thx all of u! no atty here, my sister happens to work for an expensive yet experienced divorce atty and knows all the ropes without spending a lot of $$ which i dont have!

asked him rationally if we could chat about some concerns i have. hes going to fit me in his schedule to talk later today. ill let u know how that goes....

In that case, JT's situation of having it put in your divorce decree sounds like an excellent idea.

He should be embarassed. Whatever the reason for your divorce, the children should not be put in the middle. Stay calm and I pray you can get through to him.