I'm Ali. To give a little background.... I am a newly single (we are just separated now, but divorce IS in the future) mom of 4 boys. Soon to be ex, "C" is an admitted drug abuser, which he hid very well from everyone until the last 3 years. He couldn't/wouldn't quit & we've lost everything except our home (where I am still living with the boys). He moved out of state 6mo ago & very rarely even calls the boys. Our 4 year old has been very ill since Feb & I got a devastating diagnosis. He's been in & out of the hospital since early Mar. C came to see him only once before his surgery, for 2 hours. He pays child support, if you can call it that, (on average, as he doesn't pay every week, it comes to $26 per child per week since he's been out of the house) when he feels like it. I had to file child support enforcement against him in Dec and because he lives in another state, it is taking forever. We had our 1st child before we were married, I just got a letter stating that even though C signed the birth certificate, we have to have a DNA test done. C now wants to take the older 2 boys for a few weeks to stay with him. I asked child support enforcement & they said he is not legally allowed to take the children out of state. I have heard such horror stories that once they are out of state, it is so difficult to get them back, not that I think he wants the responsibility at this time, but you just never know. Also, he is still using. I am barely making it financially, especially with my 4 year old being so ill. That is why I have been unable to even file for divorce. I am not wanting to keep my boys from knowing their father, whatsoever, & I am not trying to paint an ugly picture of my soon to be ex, just laying out the facts. I was very hurt and disgusted when I first found out. We tried to work through things and get him help, but it was not wanted. I have had quite a bit of time to process and grieve. I think what really helped me, sadly enough, was going through our son's illness (which we will have to deal with for the rest of his life) alone. That, I suppose, is when it hit me, that not only am I finished, but I am ok with it and our new life. Anyway, does anyone know anything about this? How can I stop him from taking them out of state? Thanks in advance.
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