The few few weeks you are going to be all over the place, second guessing everything, and you are going to feel like everything is out of control, but it isn't.

Take the first few weeks, the first few months really, to focus on yourself, and if you have children, your kids. Rediscover yourself, what you like to do, what you think is funny, and what you think is fun.

I have found that writing everything out helps puts things in perspective, and the journals are a good thing to have, especially as you continue down this path and are able to look back on them and see how far you have come.

The journal resource here is fantastic, and i recommend you use it. You can set things to private, friends only, or everyone. Some things you may want to the world to see, and others you may want to keep to yourself.

Whatever you do, do not think this is the end of the world. Although it may seem like one gigantic shit hurricane, even hurricanes pass and dissapate (sp?).

You will get through this if you focus on yourself.

If you are going to make the decision to get a divorce, then find a lawyer. Take care of yourself, and let the lawyer take care of the other stuff.

-Soon

So Sorry you are here, but the support is great, caring people.....at time we get a little whacked and do something just to liven uo it up, got to have some laughter to keep from crying......but WELCOME

You have found the right place! I only joined as of yesterday. I am so glad you have. There will be plenty of people who will reply here with GREAT advice, and support. Welcome!

Sorry for your pain and I hope you find the support you need here. But I also suggest that you do go to counseling so that you can process those emotions in a healthy way.

And if you haven't, please make an appointment with a divorce attorney asap. Most offer free consultations. Find out your rights and how to protect yourself from what may come.

Welcome to this site and sorry to hear about your horrible situation. What you are experiencing is par for the course. Try to find something to do for yourself and concentrate on that. When this thing hit me I decided that I needed to take charge of my health and get in better shape. I joined a gym and now I am about 40 pounds lighter then I was at the same point last year.

Good luck to you and I wish you all the best. If you begin to get depressed and stay depressed go seek treatment asap. It is a horrible thing and it is easy to treat with medicine. I ended up on something because of all that has come to bear in my life and some of my previous job stresses also built up on me at the same time.

I'm sorry you have to be here but, welcome. Good peeps and good advice all around.

((((((hugs)))))) Just stick around.

Thank you so much. The kids are with my husband this weekend. Our first visitation or "parental time" or whatever the correct term is for it these days. I never realized that I don't know what to do with myself without anyone here. I've been wife and mom for 9 years and deferred to my husband's likes and dislikes for the 7 years that we dated. I don't know if I know who I am really anymore. Anyway, thanks for the words of wisdom. I do like to write and will definately use the journal. Thanks.

Few weeks? Sweetie you're in this for a longer haul than a few more weeks. Yeah, your emotions are gonna hit all walls. You will basically find yourself mourning the death of the marriage. You have things you want to know and you owe it to yourself to find out and he owes you answers. It takes 2 to make or break a marriage and it's not all his fault and it's not all yours. don't even worry about filing for divorce right now you have too much emotional stuff to try and get ahold of. I'm so sorry you have to be here. You're amoungst family.

Jenna38, we have a Jenna7873, too, and she's a firecracker, so if you get any off-the-wall messages or hugs, don't be confused!

Welcome to our little breakfast club. We always feel for the new members who are freshly facing all the issues. We're sorry for your need to be here but hope we can be of help to you. Ask your questions, vent your sorrows and rages and pains, crack your first bitter jokes. People get through the initial devastation in a range of ways, from numbness to tears, from denial to rage. They stuff themselves or starve themselves. They work all the time or barely move. They beg to get it back the way it was, or plot their revenge. It's all normal.

One foot in front of the other.

Sorry for your pain Jenna. Im with MVH, just try and take one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Also, as Soon says, writing everything down can be very cathartic, so journal, even if you lock it for your eyes only. However, sometimes the comments on your journal can be very supportive and helpful too. You just got to know, its gonna take time so be patient with yourself and use this site as a support system. Welcome x

Wow! You guys are great! Thank you for the kind words and the advice. It is so good to know that I am not alone. I have spoken to an attorney just to know my rights as far as the children and finances go but I have not actually filed for divorce. I am still seeing "our" marriage counselor alone and I am just trying to keep breathing in and out every day. Besides trying to keep some normalcy for the kids, that is about all I can accomplish right now.

Hey Jenna. Hang in there. It is a long hard road but you will be fine. Just remember to take of yourself and your children. Try to eat, sleep, exercise, do things for you. You will have good days and bad days. Keep coming here whenever you need to. So sorry for your situation. Hope things work out for the best.

are there any of us out there??

to quote jac - 2003 of us!!

sorry you had to join us, but glad ya found us

weeks is so so so so so new

it'll take months..stick with us..we all been there done that and can help you thru the journey