Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

11,195 Members
99,775 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

HELP ME PLEASE to understand.

deleted_user
deleted_user
As I explained I saw my hubby for the first time last night. After talking a praying, we ended up kissing and you know where that led. Then it ended with he had to go to bed and his stomach hurt. Then this morning he emails and calls me. I thought our phone conversation went well, I really did. I just thought he had to hang up. Well in thinking back, I sent him an email and asked if something upset me. I asked him what he really wanted? And told him to be true to himself. He has said last night he was happier than he had been in months and that he missed me....was it all a lie? I asked him several questions in the email so I might better understand. I thought it was a nice, calm email. Anyway, I just got a reply from him. The only thing is says is, "$900 to fix my car". My heart SANK. That is so MEAN and hurtful. I am feeling like last night was a lie and in fact our entire marriage was a lie. I HURT so bad. I feel SO USED. I know I don't deserve this....no one does. How could he? He claims he has been with no one, has no one and not even kissed anyone. I don't know what to believe. I am so hurt.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I sent the email asking if something in our phone conversation upset HIM, not me. Sorry typo.
verbra
verbra
I really feel sorry for your pain and wish you the best. I know one the first things I was told during the separation was not to give into sex it only prolongs your hurt and makes you confused. Try to stay strong I know it hurts like hell.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe he is confused as well and a little scared? It dose sound like he has feelings for you. I know my stbx and I go up and down, we're togethe, no we're not...back and forth back and forth. He has said he get scared and confussed.
I wish you the best.
FrmDeb2U
FrmDeb2U
I'm sorry... just try not to let this one statement mean so much to you. That may be all he is able to think about right now.

I know it's a very sad time for you and am sorry that he is hurting you more by not thinking about how this comment has made you feel.

Big hug to you dear.. hang in there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
its all horrible, what they say, what they dont say...we need to let it go and move on.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Knowing some of the other history you have shared here (although I might have missed some over the weekend while gone), I really hope you cut him off from you. Get to a healthy place where you won't eanable him. He is abusive, using anger to control and manipulate (like my father did) and he will continue to be abusive until he gets the help he needs. Until you get the help you need to not enable him and have healthy boundries you need to keep your distance. Even if you are both getting help you need to give it time apart so that you both get to a healthy point of being able to handle your relationship in a healthy way.

I know its hard, because you care about him, but his companionship is not worth the abuse.

I hurt so much for you and him both please take care of yourself and your kids, and prayfully you and he both will get to a healthy place whether with each other or not.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: irishwriter
    7916
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: mujicaptsd
    1876
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...