Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am a 37 year old mother of 3 children aged 14, 12 and 8. 6 weeks ago yesterday my husband of 16 years came home and destroyed my world. He told me he didn't love me, had had 2 affairs *1 many years ago* and one recently and that he was leaving and didn't want to do marriage counseling as he didn't want to give me "false hope" as he'd made his mind up he was done in this marriage. We hadn't had a fight, argument and I had honestly NO idea that things were this bad. He said it took him 3 months to decide to do this and he just did it on a random Thursday at 1:00pm in the afternoon. He packed a suitecase, walked out and never said anything to me. That night he came home to tell our 3 kids about it and devastated them beyond belief. He thought he wanted to live the "single life" but decided after 16 years of marriage that was too shallow so he is now living with his parents in their basement. He's been an emotional rollercoaster with me and our relationship telling me 1 time he doesn't love me and then saying he does, giving me hugs, telling me he is so sorry. I am so confused.
How do you deal with a man who does this kind of thing to you? It's only been 6 weeks and I am "hopeful" for a reconciliation between us but honestly............how do I deal with all of this?? He is taking care of us financially but just doesn't live here. What do I do?? I am in therapy and my children will start therapy in the next couple of weeks but honestly I think HE needs the therapy even though he had the "nards" to blame it all on me and my controlling/passive aggressive behavior.
I have no idea where to turn or what to do next. I'm not emotionally ready for a divorce since it's only been 6 weeks and he seems sometimes to be just totally confused but so am I.
Where do I go? What do I do?? Where do I turn??? How do I help my children cope? My 14 year old is a girl who absolutely HATES her dad and won't go near him. What do I say to her to make it "ok" as much as it could be??? How do we recover from this?? How do I help them and myself??? This sucks!
How do you deal with a man who does this kind of thing to you? It's only been 6 weeks and I am "hopeful" for a reconciliation between us but honestly............how do I deal with all of this?? He is taking care of us financially but just doesn't live here. What do I do?? I am in therapy and my children will start therapy in the next couple of weeks but honestly I think HE needs the therapy even though he had the "nards" to blame it all on me and my controlling/passive aggressive behavior.
I have no idea where to turn or what to do next. I'm not emotionally ready for a divorce since it's only been 6 weeks and he seems sometimes to be just totally confused but so am I.
Where do I go? What do I do?? Where do I turn??? How do I help my children cope? My 14 year old is a girl who absolutely HATES her dad and won't go near him. What do I say to her to make it "ok" as much as it could be??? How do we recover from this?? How do I help them and myself??? This sucks!
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Hugs
E
KIM
Thanks for the words though...they really do mean alot. This was just a hard week to get through and Christmas is going to be extremely tough...I hope I am strong enough as a mom and woman to get us through it.
You need to start thinking of yourself and your life as minus one. He was honest when he told you he was not in love with you and we wanted out of the marriage. Because he has been married to you for years and has kids with you he has sympathy for you and understands how this must hurt for you. It sounds that he tried to get out of hurting you but chose to be forthcoming and tell you the truth. Take that truth because it's real; whether he hugs you or not he wants his freedom.
What you have to do for yourself and those kids is to pick up your jaw off the floor and show them how you move on. I know it sounds far fetched because you're still in shock. But you will benefit everyone if you start to look at this realisticly. I can tell you this because I'm on the outside. You were pretty descriptive and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Your children are looking to you for support and guidance. How can you guide them if you curl up and die? You can't. I understand that your daughter hates him...who wouldn't? Explain to the kids that he's still dad and still loves them. If he didn't love them he would have simply walked away and he wouldn't dare take care of the finances the way he is. No one wants to hear what you heard. You sare about to go through a LOT. Lean on us, that's why we're here. You may not think you need us now because you still have hope that your marriage will work but once reality becomes clearer to you...we'll be right here.
((hugs))
You are not alone anymore, welcome.
It is titled, "LET IT GO"
by T.D. Jakes.
If you need to talk send me a message.
Your friend,
Lisa
abusehurts