I have only been divorced for two months separated for 6...the first two months were great....I let go of the pain and hurt that had been building for the last couple of years....since I moved out he has been diagnosed with depression and PTSD....gained a friendship with someone over the last year that has turned into an intense relationship as soon as I moved out...he asked for me back but when I turned over my heart wholy and completely (like always) he rejected it just saying he only missed the familiarities and comfort I gave....We have been friends for 21 years....in a relationship for 17 1/2 years....married for 11 1/2...we recently were passionate with each other twice and until this week kept up conversation and friendship even though I tried not too because I new I wasn't letting go the way I needed to....now the friendship has stopped because I said if I can't have all of him I don't want any of him because he was getting the best of me and the best of his new relationship....I have kept myself busy with graduate school, work, buying a new house, family, friends, etc.... I miss him terribly
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...