I already tried to post this once and it got lost.

Please tell me I'm not crazy.

I found out yesterday that husband had an affair 3 years ago that I suspected but remained in denial about until recently. He calls it a one-time mistake he made yet it took months to get rid of her and info I received indicates much more than a one-time mistake.

Now he's admitting to being attracted to a receptionist at work. Enjoys talking to her because he just can't talk to me. Takes lunch breaks with her frequently and rumors rampant at the office. Has been working out more and looking better than I've seen him look in a loooong time. I hear feelings in his voice when he just mentions anything to do with her and I haven't heard those feelings toward me since I cannot remember. Things have never felt worse between us to me than right now yet he says they have been this bad for a very, very long time.