Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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HELP!!!-gut feelings, reality check

deleted_user
deleted_user
I already tried to post this once and it got lost.

Please tell me I'm not crazy.

I found out yesterday that husband had an affair 3 years ago that I suspected but remained in denial about until recently. He calls it a one-time mistake he made yet it took months to get rid of her and info I received indicates much more than a one-time mistake. Gut feeling tells me more than that.

Now he's admitting to being attracted to a receptionist at work. Enjoys talking to her because he just can't talk to me. Takes lunch breaks with her frequently and rumors rampant at the office. Has been working out more and looking better than I've seen him look in a loooong time. I hear feelings in his voice when he just mentions anything to do with her and I haven't heard those feelings toward me since I cannot remember. Things have never felt worse between us to me than right now yet he says they have been this bad for a very, very long time. All this and he's been telling me for the past few weeks that I make him CRAZY and I always have....
deleted_user
deleted_user
p.s. Yet he SAYS nothing has happened between the two of them and NOTHING was going to happen.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry to say this to you but it doesn't sound good. I would start preparing myself. You need to have a plan. Don't get blindsided like me. He is sending you enough signals.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Allways listen to your inner
Voice, Allways!
I'm sorry for what you are about to go through. :-(
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am filing in the morning. I called him at work yesterday and told him not to come back into the house while I'm still here. I left him a suitcase on the porch. I told him he will not stand in my way and he will be helpful so that I can get on my own two feet or I will show up at his work and make scenes he cannot imagaine- not to mention I'll go to his family and friends and tell them everything. I got an apartment today and most of my stuff is packed. I found an attorney I have a good feeling about. I'm dividing up things fairly I think but I'm making sure that I get what I need. I did take his rolex watch to keep as collateral. (It's easier to give things back later than take them later right?) I took our savings and put it into an account in my name. It's enough to pay off my car with a little left over. If all goes to plan, I shouldn't have any debt because he makes much more than me and will be left with the house, etc. My car should be paid off but I'll have to live in an apartment until I can get my own house down the road. I'm going to ask for spousal maintenance so that he can help put me through school like I put him through school and now he has income more than twice mine. I don't know if will get all this but I'm going to try. I know that I need to stay strong and put my own needs above everything else. I have these moments of weakness that are just wearing me down.
deleted_user
deleted_user
p.s. So far he's telling me I can have and do whatever I want. But I don't know if he will change his tune or not. I think that I should act quickly and guilt him to the max. (But I feel guilty because this is not how I usually am.)

I don't know what's up with me but I can't stop writing! Months, years of all this is finally just all coming together and I just have to get it OUT.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow you really have your act together... good for you my friend....
patti22
patti22
Three years is a long time, with many hour and dollars spent with/for someone else. If you take a few dollars now, do you really think that it would come close to making things even? Do what you need to to get on your feet...you deserve it. Not about punishing anyone, about helping YOU. Like I said, he was willing to spend time and money 'helping' someone else, and you deserve it more! Don't get mad...Get Healthy.
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