Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I posted my discussion in the visual impairment section but wanted some breakup advice too. I am still very depressed. My fiance (now ex fiance) left me 7 weeks ago after I got confirmed that I have an eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa, which will probably make me blind someday. We were to marry in 6 months and together almost a year. We were totally in love (she said we were soul mates, and I agreed, or so I thought). I told her about the possibility of the disease from the third week we met as doctors were monitoring me for about 10 months. She said that she loved me and would be with me no matter what. Every month I was checking her and she assured me that she was going to marry me. A week after a true confirmation, she left me. She stated that it was the future that scared her and couldnt be with me. I still can't get over her and deal with the thought of going blind. I am devastated and have to go through this myself; its the worst feeling ever in my life. I am 37 and she 28. She does not even want to talk to me now she says, "I'm moving on and I need my space". I left with class even though I could have been mad and resentful. F***, how can I move on? The only two times we talked after the break up, was when I called. The first conversation was good, but the second she was pretty mean. I don't know how I will ever trust and find love again. Her birthday is coming up in a week, do I acknowledge it?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
And no, I wouldn't acknowledge her birthday. Sounds like she's made it clear she doesn't want to hear from you.
It's sad, but hopefully the lack of contact will help you heal faster.
She is 77 years old and still gets around with limited sight.
That being the case thinking about your situation should be your first priority.
2nd it wasn't meant to be with this person, I know you're sad about the breakup and thinking there's nothing more, but you already had a generation gap so to speak with this person of 9 years younger. She's not mature enough to get married and used your eyesight as the scapegoat, not that she's just scared of the future. You can be a normal functioning person if we are to be normal that is, just with limited sight and I tell you, my ex's grandmother gets around better than most 77 year olds I know.
So, hold your head high that you kept your class, and just know there are MANY MANY MANY women out there that'll find you the one for them, sight or no sight.
Again, I am sorry for your situation and know that your life WILL be all it is to be with your optimum potential.
She needs to be let go, and thankfully you only spend a year with her, didn't get married to have her walk out on you later because of her own problems.
NO CONTACT, just be thankful she ended it now. Just wasn't meant to be unfortunately.
I know you are in pain but in reality ..good riddance. you should look into every form of alternative therapy- reiki, iridology. naturapath along with conventional medicine. I will pray for you and you will find love again.. never doubt
Do not send her a birthday gift, card or anything.
I hope you find someone that will be there for you no matter what happens.
She at least told you of her reasons. At her age it may be too much to deal with. She probably has dreams to fulfill of her own. It may be different if you had been married to her a lifetime and kids were grown, and you were both older. Even you demonstrated to her how insecure blindness made you feel by checking her reaction to it once per month.
The second issue is finding someone else. With your condition that might be unrealistic. Maybe you should establish the extent of your illness first, and then go from there.
A loving birthday card, saying that you understand her feelings, and that you respect her decision, may be the only opportunity you have to set your true love free.
You will be fine once you get past the conflict between your real life and your ideal life.
Enjoy life, and play with cards you are dealt.
I disagree with sockpuppet...I personally wouldn't have a problem dating someone who was losing there sight. It could be beneficial....you'd always remember them being young a beautiful :) *Just trying to keep it light!*
Now is the time that you should focus on your well being. BIIIIIG HUGS!
I am hurting right now, too. Sometimes people don't ever know why someone leaves, but you do - or so you think. She says she can't handle your being blind. I think the truth is that you and she have different versions of what love is. Her love is conditional enought that you need to have your eyesight for her to love you???? Would YOU base your love of her or anyone else on their eyesight or lack of it? I wouldn't and personally, I wouldn't even like, let alone love someone whose love was so shallow and conditional. There is a saying that goes SOMETHING like this: If you want to know the true depth of a person's character, don't watch to see how far they will go; watch to see where they stop. Not sure of the accuracy, but i hope you get the gist of it. You will benefit from this because someone better will love you for YOU not your ability to see.
There will be someone for you, keep the hope, cry find healing for your heart and believe it can and will get better.