So my STBX says to me he is happy, but I know he isn't he looks miserable. He told a friend that he gets high all the time to "forget". My question is forget what?? He is the one that wanted this, he wanted to be free to do what he wants when he wants...So WTF does he have to forget... I'm sure it's not that he wants to forget how much he has hurt me. I just don't get it, I am the one that is destroyed by this yet again this is his 3rd time leaving to ask to come back that he made a mistake... Well I don't think I can live on a rollercoaster anymore I want to move on but I can't, in the back of my mind I think he will come back...but I know if he does what will it be another 2 yrs and he'll leave again I need to get it through my head that I am better off with out him.. But I can't I think about him all the time... i saw him saturday night and he was so wasted...He just looked at me and then went and danced with some HO who is married but she was out with other friends... it was a party and alot of people where there, I had to leave it just upsets me.. He is wasting his life.. he is destroying himself. I just don't get it... I need to get my heart in sync with my head... the head knows its time to move on by the heart is holding out... sorry I am rambling... thanks for all your support...
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