Today he left for Spain, France, Italy...3 weeks...the trip we planned to take just last year after we were going to tie the knot(as it turns out, he was seeing her at the time). So while 'we' were making plans he was seeing himself with her not me. It's been 5 months...some days are okay but I feel like the joy is never coming back into my life again. I'm going out with girl friends, I'm exercising, I'm keeping busy, but all of it is muted enjoyment. He's always there in my thoughts and I know I am no where in his. When does it get better? When do I wake up JUST ONCE without HIM as the first thing on my mind? I don't want to sound like I'm a basket case, I'm coping, but this pain...it's like nothing I've ever known, and I'm scared it will never completely go away.
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