Today he left for Spain, France, Italy...3 weeks...the trip we planned to take just last year after we were going to tie the knot(as it turns out, he was seeing her at the time). So while 'we' were making plans he was seeing himself with her not me. It's been 5 months...some days are okay but I feel like the joy is never coming back into my life again. I'm going out with girl friends, I'm exercising, I'm keeping busy, but all of it is muted enjoyment. He's always there in my thoughts and I know I am no where in his. When does it get better? When do I wake up JUST ONCE without HIM as the first thing on my mind? I don't want to sound like I'm a basket case, I'm coping, but this pain...it's like nothing I've ever known, and I'm scared it will never completely go away.
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Tuesday I woke up to an anonymous message on Facebook telling me to ask my boyfriend for his phone. I know it may have been wrong of me but I took his phone while he was asleep and found a video of a naked woman that was sent to him in his hidden folder. I set his phone back where it was and woke him up to ask him if he would let me see it he fought with me for awhile and finally agreed but only...
Last night I was on Facebook looking at that section that says, "Do you know these peole?" I came across a page that had my husband of 15 years with another woman. He goes to conferences, so I thought it was a clipped pic (part of a group pic). It was just him and her and there was a pic of him kissing her. He is out of town, so I texted him. When he got back to me he admitted he has been having...