He has accepted that our marriage was not built to last, we rushed in and should have only remained friends. The divorce will be amicable and whereas I intend on moving out we are on good terms(I think in the span of 1 evening our talking has made me happier around him).

We have not yet ironed out all the details but I am staying here until I get a day job and can move out; no rush, no hostility just acceptance of the situation.

After I brought the situation up again and bluntly said this relationship must end, he told me he finally understood what I was saying and that we make great friends just not a great marriage.

No finger pointing, we've both been harder on ourselves than on the other and we've both owned our part in the failure of the marriage. Perhaps we could have done something different, something to make it work but coulda, woulda, shoulda is irrelevant.

We didn't sleep at all last night and neither of us our upset over the marriage we have ending, all emotion and tears have been for the loss of the way we were, b/c once upon a time we were very happy.

Not filing yet but it is happening we have accepted that, he can't yet deal with taking off his ring which is fine. I could never where mine to work but I'll still where them at home out of respect for his wishes. I offered to give my engagment ring back now(its an heirloom) but he said its mine until we are legally divorced or atleast until I move out and I understand why he needs me to wear it for now.


We'll be working out ground rules later but honestly I am happier to see him and be around him now that we've dropped tha charade, atleast around each other. We still hug and kiss goodbye when one of us leaves the house, don't know if thats normal but it is what it is. The only thing we established is that he will keep our doggie(hes like our baby, I call home to say goodnight when I'm shooting on location); I agreed b/c I know it would kill him to see both of us go(if there was any doubt it was confirmed when he told me that would be way to much) but he said I can still come see Silvio(doggie) and take him sometimes so thats good.



Wow I didn't expect to cry so much and I have to go to a premier party tonight for the new t.v. show I am on(airing in 60 countries), not sure I'm up for it but its a really big night for me, too bad I'm not happier but I can fake it.



So yeah, I'm scared(never lived on my own I know I'll have to eventually), dreading the day I tell my family, I'm relieved and sad at the sametime....basically I'm a mess.