Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Has Anyone Ever Experienced This

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi...first of all this site is great and Ihave received a lot of support and though I'm only 5 weeks into this, I feel like I am starting to have more good days than bad and I don't dream about it every night anymore. I do have one part of this that just haunts me so much and I just wondered if anyone else has experienced it. My husband basically just announced one evening that he didn't love me and that he leased and place and was moving out that weekend. I have never heard from him since, wouldn't even tell me where he was moving too. I was served divorce papers over Thanksgiving weekend...still no call nothing...this makes me feel like I was so horrible that he can't even face me...like I have the plague and yet my head knows I am not horrible and Ididn't deserve this...but the rejection of never hearing anything from him and knowing how happy he is...his daughter told my daughter that she is glad they left because he was so miserable with us and now he is so happy...just makes me feel all the worse...why does he act like I don't exist?
deleted_user
deleted_user
He must be holding some guilt. I have no clue how a man can walk away and never say a word. I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard, but I am hoping everyday it gets easier for you. Just know you are a good person and you and your daughter deserve better!
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
I dont know the whole story, but to walk away without a word I believe is a cowards way out. As Tammy said, he has guilt about what he is doing and probably cant deal with the confrontation of being a man to sit with you and decide together it is over.

For him to have everything ready before he even told you he was leaving and the papers given to you so quick, he has a plan of something else he wants.

I am sorry you are going through this and it does stink not having any answers. But maybe as you start to heal, you will think abbout previous times where he wasnt so nice, and some things might come to light for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
GUILT, GUILT and more GUILT.

It is NOT you! it is him.

again, IT IS NOT YOU!

it is his guilt, his guilt and his guilt that makes him act this way.

I am sure you are not a horrible person so DON"T even go there!

you HOLD your head high because it is his loss and things will get better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The fact he has trouble facing you tells me he must be feeling alot of hurt or feeling guilty. I don't like it when someone wants to rush through a divorce so fast and with no contact...makes me wonder if he has thought it through enough...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with everybody else. It's horrible to be broadsided like this. My Stbx planned his exit too. Except the lazy coward made me do all the work of filing.

For me I prefer no contact. It avoids rubbing the OW in your face. It prevents mud slinging which only creates more hard feelings. That's what is happening to me.

Either way he's a thoughtless selfish man who you still love. I'm so sorry he has hurt you. Obviously he was to cowardly to adress his pain with you-- he just gave up and went elsewere. It's rotten. If he'll do it to you he'll do it eventually to the other women. You Deserve better than that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you all for your comments...I did end up finding out he has been on several personals sites since July this year maybe sooner...I know now there is someone else and he wants someone else...the coldness of how he acted that everything was normal until the time he had his plans in place to leave just hurts like crazy...he told me he loved me and kissed me goodbye every day up until the evening he left...even had regular sex etc...we were in church every week...I just can't understand his behavior..I hope you guys are right and he feels guilt, but all I ever here is how happy he is.
Loved1
Loved1
I'm so sorry for your loss. I guess it would be good to focus on yourself and not get caught up in his behavior/intentions/reasoning which is irrational and quite mean/hurtful. Talking to a counselor may help, there may be some sense to make of this with someone who could understand. Maybe there is some solace in realizing if this is how he is acting regardless of how he is feeling it is better to know and have a chance at happiness without him. My ex boyfriendwould leave ubruptly (r& epeatedly) and all I could do was realize more and more it was about him, not me, and not take the blame.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My stbx told me after 10 1/2 yrs of the m word that he wanted a divorce. Its been a month now and he doesnt not call to check on our kids, nothen. When I call him he wont answer his phone and I have no idea where he is staying at. He hasnt even helped me with the kids. NOTHEN. Hang in there and be strong. Its hard, after 14 yrs of being together and talking to that person everyday and then it stops, it hurts. Hang in there for you and your daughter.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Perhaps this is a better way, like pulling a bandage off quickly. I don't mean to sound unfeeling. I think I would have rather had things go down that way in my situation than the seemingly endless months of "it's over, lets try again, it's over, let's try again".
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, that is guilt, because he can't even face you! Days and nights do get easier....
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