Tonight I tried to give my STBX a hug and was pushed away. One-sided love hurts so much. We both played parts in the demise of our marriage, but can't get it back on track if one isn't willing. 23 years of ups and downs together, and this is how it culminates? No silver wedding anniversary, and I'll never see my 50th now. I actually get jealous of other people I know the same age who are happy in their marriages. How selfish is that? I should be happy for others but I can't right now. I try to stay somewhat happy every day while plodding through the mud. Really tough though.
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