Just vent away!! I know this type of situation is so frustrating for you because of the kids, but you have to be there for them.

But there are rewards ans sometimes our sacrifices pay off some how. Since my stbx has ben around much at home, I asked my little girl if she was sad somehow because her father wasnt around with her and it surprised me that her answer was that she wasnt sad and she didnt mind because she was with me...that melt my heart!!!

vent away and document, document, document. it's the way of the world now. cover your ass. and he says he wants more of a relationship with them, but on his terms, not theirs. selfishness.

I don't blame you for wanting to vent! He sounds like a selfish person. He needs to remember that what goes around, comes around.

My stbx does the same thing...ignores calls from our son most of the time. Just talks to him when HE feels like it. My son used to cry all the time about it, but now he's so used to it, it doesn't seem to bother him. Your children will know that YOU are the one that is always available to them, and that is what they will remember for the rest of their lives - that you never let them down!

Is your stbx pursuing other recreational activities of the illegal kind also? Just curious.

Well, I'm kind of fuzzy on the legality of the whole "consenting adults" thing, but not the morality of it.

My ex pulls this. We are divorced and he is dating, which is fine. But he never answers his phone anymore. Our daughter is 18 and away at college. She came home this weekend and wanted to see him but it took him two days just to return her text message! So, they only got to have a few minutes together. I think she has accepted that this is how it is now, but I could tell she was hurt.

I SO know what you are feeling - mine is getting a little better - but it REALLY pisses you off when they do that to their kids. Arrrgh is right!!!

Me too..the kids get frustrated because they always get his voicemail..sometimes he calls back..sometimes he doesn't.

We did learn one trick..he is more likely to check the message when they call from my oldest son's cell phone. Guess seeing my number gives him the willies :)

Had to talk to him this morning relating to another issue, so I mentioned that the kids had tried to call him. Boy, his defensiveness spoke volumes. He told me he was "out." He didn't say where "out" was. And knowing him, if it had been innocent, he would have.

I'm better off, I'm better off. I just need to keep telling myself this.

im sorry that your kids are suffering cause of his selfish ways