Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hey all:
I need to vent/get some feedback/support.
I am a cancer survivor -- very aggressive, invasive, Stage III -- dx'd 18 mos ago, completed the full menu of treatment almost a year ago, and have been cancer free for that time. My STBX was an absolute ass during the treatment -- it was all about HIM dontchaknow, and so he left me alone in a corner to rot with my fears, tears, and side effects -- doi my own grocery shopping, prepare my own meals (yeah, what a heel).
Following the treatment, I began to see a therapist in the Cancer Center. We dealt with the treatment, survival, and some of my marriage issues -- also have a chronic illness which has made my life suck, but I really try to look on the bright side of what's good each and every day -- it's little things, but I'll take what I can get, you know? Anyway, been trying to work it out with him since the treatment (btw, he wouldn't set foot in the hospital to accompany me to chemo, and acted like a dipshit during the 2 surgeries I had prior to chemo and radiation), asked for us to see a marriage therapist (he refused for months, then finally agreed, and then made it known in no uncertain terms that he would not do squat to change any of his behavior affecting our marriage- all within the first session).
I have been so desperate for hope, that I wanted to meet people (men) just to see a) what's out on the market, since I haven't dated for 30 years, and then, I was still really a kid, and b) just to get some hope, that I am still an attractive woman that men would want to spend time with. I didn't and don't want it to go any further at this time than meeting some folks, and getting to know them.
Well, to say this was a mistake could be a major understatement. I am getting lots of hits, initial contacts (the email conversations are great until we meet), and then plop. Finito.
I am getting off the site I was using, and I know I am not ready, but it has done the opposite of giving me hope. I now feel as though I will be alone for the rest of my life. And I'm getting really angry at all men, which is what I had hoped to avoid by doing this in the first place.
If I hear the word "chemistry" ONE. MORE. TIME. I'm gonna kill something! Seems to me it's just man-talk for "If I want to jump your bones within the first 10 seconds of meeting you, then there's chemistry, and you have a chance with me."
Having had this chronic illness for 10 years, which has robbed me of my quality of life, then the cancer on top of that (I used to manage the emotional pits of the daily shit by tellimg myself, "At least I don't have CANCER."), I just want a new life, and I want it NOW. NOW!!!
How can I hang on and have some hope today for a better tomorrow? It just seems so hopeless right now.
Becky
I need to vent/get some feedback/support.
I am a cancer survivor -- very aggressive, invasive, Stage III -- dx'd 18 mos ago, completed the full menu of treatment almost a year ago, and have been cancer free for that time. My STBX was an absolute ass during the treatment -- it was all about HIM dontchaknow, and so he left me alone in a corner to rot with my fears, tears, and side effects -- doi my own grocery shopping, prepare my own meals (yeah, what a heel).
Following the treatment, I began to see a therapist in the Cancer Center. We dealt with the treatment, survival, and some of my marriage issues -- also have a chronic illness which has made my life suck, but I really try to look on the bright side of what's good each and every day -- it's little things, but I'll take what I can get, you know? Anyway, been trying to work it out with him since the treatment (btw, he wouldn't set foot in the hospital to accompany me to chemo, and acted like a dipshit during the 2 surgeries I had prior to chemo and radiation), asked for us to see a marriage therapist (he refused for months, then finally agreed, and then made it known in no uncertain terms that he would not do squat to change any of his behavior affecting our marriage- all within the first session).
I have been so desperate for hope, that I wanted to meet people (men) just to see a) what's out on the market, since I haven't dated for 30 years, and then, I was still really a kid, and b) just to get some hope, that I am still an attractive woman that men would want to spend time with. I didn't and don't want it to go any further at this time than meeting some folks, and getting to know them.
Well, to say this was a mistake could be a major understatement. I am getting lots of hits, initial contacts (the email conversations are great until we meet), and then plop. Finito.
I am getting off the site I was using, and I know I am not ready, but it has done the opposite of giving me hope. I now feel as though I will be alone for the rest of my life. And I'm getting really angry at all men, which is what I had hoped to avoid by doing this in the first place.
If I hear the word "chemistry" ONE. MORE. TIME. I'm gonna kill something! Seems to me it's just man-talk for "If I want to jump your bones within the first 10 seconds of meeting you, then there's chemistry, and you have a chance with me."
Having had this chronic illness for 10 years, which has robbed me of my quality of life, then the cancer on top of that (I used to manage the emotional pits of the daily shit by tellimg myself, "At least I don't have CANCER."), I just want a new life, and I want it NOW. NOW!!!
How can I hang on and have some hope today for a better tomorrow? It just seems so hopeless right now.
Becky
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
In '99 I had a hysterectomy for cervical cancer. STBX felt that pre-op was taking too long, cutting into his day...so he told me that he just needed to leave, would I be OK to take it from there, and left.
He left instructions that I was to have No Visitors. I thought that even my Church didn't care. It was awful.
I can't begin to imagine how You must have felt. I am so Sorry.
I have spent 22 very lonely years. I would Love to think that there is Someone out there that could appreciate life with a slightly nutso, but very warm, ME.
It is so hard to really believe that this is possible.
I hope that You will have Your Dreams come True.
I, too have a chronic illness that has stolen most of my life. To top that off the wonder drugs I was give, pretty much finished me off. I have no energy to do anything. My ex left b/c he "wanted to find someone who wanted to do the things HE wanted to do."
I have wished for so long time that things would get better. And they never seemed to. Just this week I had an ah ha moment (see my journal). It's still sinking in. But what I realize is is that it's gonna take time. And I was missing out the little joys in life. I wasn't staying in the moment (boy that's easier to say than do - that's for sure). But it does help to do that.
I'm here if you need a shoulder. (((((hugs)))))
I'm finally getting to a place where I am starting to let go.
I find that many men are "interested" because I haven't been wearing my ring but I don't want them, they are like flies to new shit. I want to do the picking and choosing one day.