Her mind won't let her? Sounds weird to me. I would think its the other way around. Usually the person who leaves doesn't feel it in the heart anymore. They move/separate cuz they don't feel the love anymore.

Well -- from my own experience and much of what I read here, I'm not sure I agree with lovesuks, wyldguy. A lot depends on the reason for the break up. In mine, my heart would have kept me with him forever,but my mind told me it was bad for both of us and I would wind up a statistic. It broke my heart to divorce him -- but we are both better off, as it turns out. And we remain friends of a sort, and see each other on occasion, and talk on the phone every couple of weeks. So not knowing why she left, it;s kind of hard to say -- you may be able to figure it out, though!
The counseling is a good thing if you are both using it honestly. So there may be hope for you after all.

Kitty - I guess our viewpoint is different since we are on different sides of the divorce. I assume you had some bad times that brought you to the belief that it was better to divorce.

I guess I believe that when two people are "In Love" then they will do whatever it takes to make it work.

When one falls out of love, that one person thinks with the head, not their heart, and they decide to leave. just my opinion though

usually people split because the other way around. just be cautious and at the same time optimistic. don't expect things to be completely normal after one date. don't put the pressure on her to get back together. let the time heal itself. it's good you're both in counseling

My parents were separated 8 years. Including that time, they've been married for 41 years. I think the separation was good, them getting back together has been at times problematic though probably better than before the separation. I remember a shorter separation for about a year earlier on in the marriage. I think with older age they are mellowing and becoming happier together in many ways I didn't see when I was a kid. I had an ex boyfriend with a very volatile relationship and breakup including a restraining order, it didn't stop me from getting back together with him 2 years later and trying again for an equally and probably much worse go around. I have that pattern. I wish you well on your journey, life is not a destination it is a journey. I too wonder if reconciliation is possible, and remember those who think I would be crazy, and there are those who have hope for our reconciliation, too. I guess I have to trust I and we am and are in God's hands.

i wish you luck. a 15 month old is a very good reason to make it work if it can. but, you can't change other people. no matter what happens it is important to work together for your daughter.

I dont know that it can or cant work, but heres my perspective. I havent left yet, Im still holding on to the hope that he can change. I sometimes refer to our stage as the 7th inning stretch, weve been married 20 years. So Im one of those "fence riders" on this topic. But Im also a bottomlline person and here it is for you. Whatever your issues (you & wife) if both of you can move past them I say goock Luck and I hope that it will work out for BOTH of you:)

i need to say something --me and mine was seperated and divorced all in 4 months --it did do us some good to be apart --cause know were back together trying to make it work -when u been together for 19 years --things tend to go unlooked and u take each other for granted and when ur away from that person --u see how much u did and how much u really love that person --but both sides need to see it equally for it to work out !!!!!!!!! As for what happens to some not sure only know that i can try and so can he --we dont have anyhing to loose now -we lost it all in the divorce i guess !!! So we got each other and the kids to think about !!!!!!!

Give her more time. Give her pretty much whatever she wants. It is possible to make a marriage work after separation. You would be amazed at how many ppl actually separate. Don't give up.