I still cannot believe it ~ my STBX took his "girlfriend" to New York for a four day weekend. Gees louise he would never take me anywhere for a long weekend, a Saturday/Sunday or even a Sunday drive. I'm po'd and angry. This is the same guy who opened his own checking account and now has his pay check deposited directly into his personal account so that I, "don't have access to any money." Also the same guy who can't seem to get some of his own payments made on time yet he can take his girlfriend of two months to New Fricking York. Our 14 year old daughter needed a pair of jeans and daddy wouldn't buy her any--but he's got bucks to go on trips. I went with her to purchase a pair of jeans for her on my little pittance of a pay check ($8.00 an hour) and my credit card was declined -- well the credit card from the "joint" account was declined; once again he has left me with no money. What do you say to a 14-year-old who says, "I looked like crap all year last year at school and I look like crap again this year." I told her she needs to feel accepted and if that means she needs new jeans, then daddy needs to fork over the money. She just says, "never mind, it's not important, we can't afford it." When we returned home, she went next door to the neighbors crying and complaining about the ordeal. I went next door to get the 14-year-old to tell her father how she felt about school last year and this year and and I find her laying on one of the beds with both the mom and the dad comforting her. When I tried to explain what happened, they told me I shouldn't say it was her dad's fault. Well it dang well wasn't my fault; I can't help it that my STBX won't provide me with enough money to live on. Then the neighbors draw me into the middle of their conversation and tell me I'm not happy with myself and once I'm happy with myself my daughter will like me. SAY WHAT! The 14-year-old doesn't want to see the fact that "daddy" has shut me out of the financial picture and I'm living on less than $200 a week....with which I'm supposed to buy gas for my car, get the clutch fixed, get a new O2 sensor, buy myself groceries and live locked in my bedroom. Go figure. Angry, you bet I'm angry. Rotten prick wouldn't ever take me anywhere -- that's part of why our marriage fell apart -- all he wanted to do was be a couch potato; his excuse to me was always, "I've been in a car all day, what makes you think I want to get back into the car and go somewhere?" Yet he'll take this chick he's known for two months out of state. He's so stupid -- he didn't leave any information with anyone about where he would be--if his mother had died or something had happened to one of the kids or something, no one would have been able to contact him.

He's also got the audacity to say that I'm dating a guy -- who I swear I'm not dating. I've been there to help this person out. Even on my little pittance of money, I've been helping him survive and running him all over to get this, that and the other thing taken care of. I finally got him to the welfare office on Thursday -- hopefully he'll get his stuff together now and I won't be needed; yet my stbx just can't seem to quit telling everyone that Dennis is my boyfriend. The sad thing is, Dennis has many of the same qualities as my STBX -- that's why I'm not interested in him.

It just kills me though--I knew this would happen--he'd find some chick right away and I'll be lonely for the rest of my fricking life.

My STBX all keeps telling me I'm crazy...I'm certain he's going to use that as an excuse to try and get custody of the 14-year-old and get the house. He has already informed me that he's not about to let me live in the house while he makes the payments.

I finally figured out how to get some money together though I have to close an annuity with a penalty--but it will give me enough to hire an attorney and get this stuff moving. If my STBX had a brain, instead of taking his "girlfriend" to NYC, he would have hired the attorney and filed. Yeah and he told me he was going to get 1/2 of that annuity (all $7,000 of it). I might as well use it for the attorney and pay the penalty with the rest. Then he can't have it--serves him right. He's such a jerk.....and I'm so dang lonely.

The only bright spot is that I've been pretty persistent about getting an interview with a company that contacted me after I responded to an ad for an administrative assistant -- not really what I want to do--but at least its full-time and I'm guessing it will pay more than $8.00 an hour. Anyway, they called me yesterday and wanted to know if I could interview at 9:00 Monday morning. I'll be there with bells on.

I'm so frustrated too that my STBX won't say one thing about his girlfriend nor will he show me his NY photos -- of course the camera didn't work (yeah right)--he's only snotty and arrogant about her. I'd love to see what she looks like -- she's probably got huge boobs -- last time I caught him looking at porn he was checking out "Bra Busters" and "Amateur Nudes". Nice guy ehhh. What a sick fruck.

Some day will my prince come? I hope so. Some day soon I hope.

AngelBeliever