just wanted to know if anybody else has gone thru this dilemma.in sept.2005 my wife had a gastric bypass.2 months later we got new car.5 months after we bought a beautiful house. 14 months after her surgery she had gone from 357 pounds to 157 pounds.5 days b4 thanksgiving 2006 she came up to me and very sweetly and said she wanted a divorce,after 16 years of being together. her reason-i didnt put her on a pedestal like i used to-thats it.she kicked me out of our house 2 weeks later, i moved into mothers house, and she continued to live in our house 5 months. our divorce was final in april 2007. she moved into apartment around mid april(2 minutes down the street from me).around 7-8 weeks later she got pregnant by the next door neighbor and had her baby this past march..she turns 43 in two weeks.she has completely torn me in half emotionally and spiritually. i loved her with all my heart and wouldve given my life for her if needed. she changed so much after getting skinny. she also never paid for our kids christian school for an entire year. she owes them around $7,500. i believe she spent that on boob job and tummy tuck, because she never paid any mortgage payments since nov. 06. we have just had house sold by sheriffs sale and i believe she gets to pay aroound 40,000 for the deficiencies. the man she married-8 weeks after finding she was pregnant is a deadbeat dad from his previous marriage, cannot drive a car,doesnt own a thing, is a convicted felon, an alcoholic . i guess he must have one down to his knees because he also looks about 20 years older than 47. i guess what hurts is she was a very active person in our church. she had godly values and morals. i never could believe she could go from this type of person into what she is now. she doesnt even bother to go to church now according to the kids. i realize being skinny for the first time in ones life would change you its just i thot our marriage would be even better because she would be happier. i didnt want her to have this surgery but she did anyway..her mom asked me what was wrong when they took her into surgery and i said "she will divorce me in 18 months" she said "not my girl. she not that kind of person" it was 14 months, not 18. i used to work at a hospital and i saw it happen alot to bariatric patients, especially to people 45 and under. the divorce rate seems to skyrocket within 3 years after this surgery.and yes, i have heard the phrase "if you have a bad marriage it will make it worse and if you have a good marriage it will make it better-that is straight from satan.we have been to court 13 times since our breakup due to her problems.. i told her one day after she called asking for help to get kids in my school district because she was in another that "one day you will pay for all the pain and suffering youve caused" i was talking about that one day god would catch up to her and she knew what i meant. the next day i have a sheriff in my driveway and now i have a 2year restraining order.it could be 25 years i dont care. i never want to see her as long as i live.. i guess what my problem is i cant get my life in gear. i am a christian and i attend church and tithe and pray and read the bible, but i am so bitterly lonely. my friends are few and far between. i havent even been on a date in 14 months since divorce. there is no one around that is near my age.it seems everyone is coupled off and the single people are either 15 years younger or older.plus, i lost my job about 6 weeks ago and havent had any success finding anything decent. i love god but my faith is starting to unravel.. she looks great from neck down, but she looks awful in the face. she has 2 sisters but one hasnt spoken to her since this started . she has really torn her own family up as well as mine..
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