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Game playing

deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm getting really sick of STBX'x game playing. I mean WTF he kicks me and my kids out. So Great I don't care I was leaveing anyway. But then he starts calling my parents telling them things like i had gottena protection order and the cops told him not to contact me. I haven't filed a POA yet so I can't imagine the cops telling him this then he threatens me about our son. So anyway I did let him see our son, and 2 weeks in a row he has brought him back 45 minutes late. He says he can't get him to come home. He is 3 you pick him up and put him in the car. He also bought him a scooter and told him he could ride it in my house and that he can tell me to go to hell he dosen't have to do what i say. Everytime he goes to his father's house he starts messing his pants again and having major tantrums. So i guess i should just not let STBX take him if this is how stbx is going to behave. ANYONE got any other ideas?
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is divorce counseling. It might be good for all of you to go. It is despicable when people use children to get their revenge. I am sorry that things are so turbulent for you. Perhaps, a counselor could help him see what he is doing to his child when he tries to make the child treat you with a lack of respect. I actually work with children who have had issues like this. Your son could generalize what his father is telling him to include "I can tell all women to go to hell." Since 90% of school teachers are female, this could really end up being a problem. Your ex needs to stop this now. Maybe a protective order isn't such a bad idea. It sounds like he needs to have supervised visitation with his son until he shed enough anger to be a good parent to his son.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you just answered your own question.Your sin has to adapt to this situation just as you do. The main concern is for yoiur son. He should not be able to take your son away from where you live because he's not being stable, nor is he acting in the best interest of the child.

My advice to you is to find out what you stand for and remain standing. Do not allow yourself to be swayed in any way. This way you turn his game into your game. He is having major control issues and only you have to power to take that control away. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you are going through this. Definatly get the protection order. I don't know what to tell you about what you should do as far as your son and stbx, as I do not have children. Maybe gather evidence against stbx and the negative influence he is having on your son to use in court at the divorce hearing. This is just my opinion. Maybe someone else will have a better idea of how to deal with stbx and his influence on your son.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We went to therapy and it was a laughing joke because anytime the conversation turned into him having to take any responsibility for his actions he refused to talk about it. He kept blameing me saying i wouldn't take responsibility for my part but when the therapist asked him what MY part was he couldn't think of one thing. The worst part is I have talked to a lawyer who basically told me that unless EX is physically abuseing our son that the court probably won't grant supervised visits and my EX has gotten away with behaving this way with his older son for 18years. Oh and while we were at thereapy the counselor told my husband that he is a passive agressive jerk and that if he dosen't change his behaviors he will be alone for the rest of his life. She told me to get out that he is a classic abusser and there was nothing i could do to fix that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
preventing a child from seeing another parent is flat out wrong. However, if you keep good documentation as well as records of conversations with your stbx and have testimony from your parents when he's called, if he then puts the child in harms way, you have a backup plan to get him removed form custodial rights, minus supervised visits. Don't play with the courts by keeping him from his father. You'll regret it long term and the tables could be turned against you. Just hang in there, and keep a serious log of all interactions with the child and the father as well as agreed upon times for the switch, etc.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In response to the last post, I'm not trying to keep my child away from his father to be mean I at this point don't have to let my son see his father at all. I have done it for my childs sake. Yet my STBX is not a safe place for a child his mother lives there and she has sever dementia and is physically abusive and has assaulted me and my older child several times she also plays with her feces and smears it all over the bathroom and my husband dosen't watch her around our son. He is also drinking heavily now that we aren't there. And I am keeping good records of everthing. Everytime he takes my son he brings him back like almost an hour late although he only lives 5 minutes away. He has threatened to take off with our son and not bring him back. He was abusive during our marriage and this is the only way he has to keep controlling me.
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