It's been a month and we don't talk or email. It's odd after 15 years to talk to men and have them flirt with me. But the truth is I'm truely not interested. I don't even think about men or relationships or sex. I just feel sad and lonely and disjointed from life. I don't ever want to be with anyone else and I don't see it happening. If I' anything like my mom then I will spend the rest of my life with me and my pets. I can't fathom why it still hurts so much. He doesn't want me so you'd think I would be pissed and say f/u buddy. Unfortunate for me, I still love him even though he doesn't deserve it and I don't think I'd ever trust him again. I just wish there was something that would interest me. I love my friends at DS and my special friends know who they are. Couldn't get by without them. But a relationship in the future....I don't see it in my cards.
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