You examine your values

a) are you healthy?
b) are your children healthy
c) do you have a roof over your head today
d) dinner on the table for today
e) money for today

f) do you have a clear mind such that you can get a job and get out of this rut

If you answered yes to all the above, then you are truly blessed.. the rest is crap and you need to make a new plan with new people and make a new future...

You have to try and look at the positives and down grade the negatives. Life is not a happy thing right now but it can and will get better. You just have to start coming up with a new attitude and a new plan.

We may have lost some things in our life, but that is not the end. Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even tomorrow. Take it one day at a time and focus on what you can change. It will get better.

It is hard to move on when you think you have lost it all. You have to grieve over what you feel you've lost, then take a good look at the possibilities and opportunities you have to start fresh. It is all about attitude. You will reach that point, but not until you are ready.

and, when you lose it all you finally realize you never had much to start off with.

sorry, my daughter is with her dad tonight and i am focusing on the painful present instead of a positive future.

what if you still want that chance with that person? Then what?...

my cherub I love your reply. thanks. Make a list of what you want and what you had.
find out what your own reality is. Most importantly give yourself time and kindness

does anyone else feel robbed?

You haven't lost it all. It may seem that way because of what happened to you, but believe me there are many many things worse. You could have married, he was not happy so he cheated on you or started with the mental or physical abuse. No breakup of a relationship is easy. When you have been married awhile & kids are involved, then its even more of a betrayal.

Mycherub is right. When you can say yes to the questions you have it all.

but we were just almost married- 2 days short and he called it off...thats what I'm dealing with, no cheating, no kids no nothing...exactly what it is, I don't have my husband or my life or what i wanted...

we have not lost it all, i have found my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, i have found peace, i have found myself trying to become a happier healthier person, on my own, and building dreams and accomplishing goals on my own. and i will be financially set again on my own, ive lost an alcoholic boyfriend who is selfish, self-centered and thinks only of himself. i won. it's all in how you look at it.

Start a gratitude journal or moment each morning and think of one thing in this life you are grateful for. It helps me to reflect and see that this divorce does not define me and who I am. It hurts like hell, but life goes on. Remember the child in you, what were you passionate about? Find a way to bring some of that childish joy into your life and find some of your identity and learn to just like you.
All of these things keep me busy, busy is good for me. I call friends, clean the house, watch movies, meet friends and though I cry I want to live what is left of my life and I don't want to miss a minute with my kids.
I play the fake it till you make it game and sometimes I even have fun and truly feel joy in those moments.
You are an amazing miracle and you have gifts to share, share them.