well as hard as the day was i was looking forward to talking with my wife now before i went to bed to discuss our relationship and the fact the i cant keep up these bills for her any longer. we had a good talk yesterday. she cried on my shoulder. i assured her that i loved her. she said that she would call me after she dropped the girls off at thier dads house. did she? nnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo! and when i called and left a message earlier, which i KNOW she got, i reminded her to call me because i needed a discusion with her. now she wont even take the calls, she wont answer the door, and the light is on, the car that i pay for is there. what the hell am i suppose to think. i am angry and fustrated that i still put so much effort into this and what am i getting in return? $#!T on! i am left out here not knowing if i am going to have a wife or not. THAT SUCKS! i was going to talk with her about a timeline, not an ultimatum but some kind of plan that i can live with. i mean i think she has had enough time. the counslers have told her that she needs to do something because if she doesnt, she is headed for a breakdown, and the longer she takes the worse its gonna get. hell she damn near had one last night. and she knows that it is her parents putting her there. i have been there for her through and through. and this is how i am treated. i was going to say that i needed to start marriage counsling by the end of the month with a goal of having her back here by the end of next month. FU$% IT! she can stay there now. if she wants a husband, its about damn time she started to treat the husband she has like a husband. i aint trying no more and she has made my mind up for me. how many other STBX's do any of thier STBX's laundry, and pay thier car payment and let the other keep the cell phone, do they pay for the insurance on the car the other has? I DONT THINK SO! AND I AM SICK OF IT! if i were being treated fairly, i would not have a problem with it! but this feakin sickins me. idont even believe in divorce. i never signed the papers from the last ones. if there is abuse that is one thing, but we made a deal before we got married,"anything can be worked out except for violance and abuse". gee that worked great. i cant stand the emotional roller coaster anymore. the thing is, I AM FINE! ITS HER THATS CAUSEING ALL THIS! i know where i screwed up, and i got the help that i needed for it, and now what do i got to dael with? freakin in-laws who were never there to begin with. i am ready now. in ohio, its 60 days out of the house and you lose your rights to it. today is 59 and i may change the locks tomorrow. i dont want to, but i do want respect.
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