
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Thinking about how much time I am spending today being sad and reminding myself of some of the more recent hurtful and unkind things he has done or said and also trying to guess at how much OW was involved in adn behind some of those recent acts of unkindness. Stbx is such a foolish man. Always has been. A foolish addict. I watched most of a movie yesterday called "Longford" about a British earl who advocated for prisoners, one in particular that really screwed him over and made him negatively famous for quite awhile. Leaving aside some of his more disagreeable politics, one way to focus on the movie was to look at how he was able to spend his life pursuing a path of "forgive the sinner and hate the sin" -- I don't think I'll ever be that good! But I am wondering if forgiving stbx and OW would be helpful to me. I don't know how to do it, of course, but I would like to forgive the sinner but still get to hate the sin. As close to forgiving them as I can get is to think of them as pathtic sick creatures who are blessedly far away from me now. But then I start wishing them the same paion they ahve caused me and that is not very nice of me. I will think about forgiveness today.
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That is when true healing begins because you have let go and are free of all the "things" ex can/will do to you.
I have forgiven my stbx. Does it still hurt - HECK YEA but I don't have the same hatred toward him that I did. I don't like some of the stuff that he does and I may say I hate him but I really don't.
I have released myself from the responsibility of worrying about what he is doing every waking minute of the day.
Forgiveness makes me a better person. It feels good. I have to be willing to let God forgive the person through me if this seems too hard. I acknowlege the harm and that I didn't get what I wanted from the person and cancel my expectations of them to be any certain way. I feel God's unconditional love for me and forward it to the person. I set them free to their own highest good.
I also need to forgive myself for putting MYSELF through that situation. It's like I kept staying and going back and hitting new lows KNOWING what he is capable of. I have to forgive my self. I have to let it go. It feels good. Unconditional love and forgiveness is my goal. It doesn't require involvement of the other person. It just makes me healthier. I have some work to do with this.