Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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For those without Kids

deleted_user
deleted_user
I know I'm not that old (34) and I'm a guy so the same pressure doesn't apply to me as much, but one of the things that makes me sad about this separation is that I didn't have any kids and my time-line is now extended even further. In the "best" case scenario, that the divorce happens within a year, and princess charming shows up in my life, it wont be for another 3-4 years until I have a kid (unless an oops happens). That means I'll be 50 by the time my kid is a teen - which likely widens that dreaded communication/life gap between us. That makes me sad. Anyone feels the same?
deleted_user
deleted_user
When people start talking about timelines, I always think of a line from Fight Club:

"Given a long enough timeline, we all die."

So, what are you going to do to make the most of yours?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Right there with you, I am about to turn 30 and I wish I had children. It makes me laugh when women say that men don't want commitment or children. I found out the hard way that my ex never wanted children. I have promised myself that when I turn 32 and I still have not met anyone or had children then I will adopt. I have three adopted sisters in my family. Sometimes I feel like I am on the outside on this site because so many people have kids.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not being sexes at all, but I feel that you have time on your side. I am 41, and still do believe that i will have a child. My husband was older than myself, with adult children. So, I think anything can happen, if you truly want it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had my last child at 40. It definetly was easier on the body at 21. But with age comes wisdom. I am a better mom with her than my others, I have learned to pick my battles, and realize that being there for them and loving them unconditionally is all that matters. You will be a great dad, no matter what age.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am with you in this one. Though I am only 27 I was supposed to have a baby this year.....but that of course took a wild turn. I wanted to be young when I had children and it's not going to be that way now if I ever do at all. It breaks my heart.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have children from my first marriage, but we divorced when they were young! I get to see them every other weekend, but I was robbed of getting to raise them. I'm 43 now and I know I will never get the chance again to have a family that I come home to every day. It sucks to see other families and know I was robbed of mine.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You will Kab! Just I know I will too, we just had to move to the end of the line.
deleted_user
deleted_user
New, I understand what you are saying but...
You have to ask yourself how old you feel. My friend in college was 22, like me, and had a 63 year old dad that had more spunk than us! Being of that age did not hurt my friend Matt one bit. Just food for thought.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wanted a house full of kids-Saturday sports activities, big sunday family dinners at my house-I think that is one of the things that hurt me the most-I wasted alot of precious years trying to fix a fu*cked marriage and now I am to old to realitically meet someone, marry and start a family.I am really pissed about that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am 57. Someday I may become senile and the good point about that is I wont know it. I have kids that are grown. I also have grandkids, and at my age there is no communications gap. We all can relate to one another.
Sometimes I think I am more understanding and able to communicate the older I get.

(dont worry...be happy...lol)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am in the worst situation here:
1. I am female.
2. I am 44.

Though I've been with my H for almost 15+ years, we didn't get married till Jun 2002. We started seeking infertility treatments 2005 and have not succeeded.

H said he was not happy, he wanted "out", he wanted to be alone and he is moving out next month.

It's almost impossible to have my own biological child according the the RE. My time is up, even if I meet Mr. Right, it would be too late for me. The breakup is hard enough for me and this made it really hard to swallow.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have a child, but I understand where you are coming from because I sstill want another and I'm now 29. I hope I find someone thath is one the same page as me about children.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes. I am 32 and (sad to say) my biological clock is ticking. How said is that. I don't want to be the typical single female looking for a man to married and have kids. If/when I find my love to have time to spend with that person first before the commitment of a family is thrown in there. I am sad about the timing and that my life is not what i wanted it to be. I am faced with the fact that I might find my love and not be a mom. Funny thing is that is want broke my marriage up. I wanted kids and he didn't. It would be ironic if that is what happened.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok kids are some thing that many people need to have in there lives. I raised 2 sons and all the baby stuff and playing ball is all false advertising. Look out when they hit the teens, when you go from Superman to Superidiot in a split second. Its not so much fun then and they can be a pain in the ass.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Great discussion! I don't think I have EVER seen this one here and it is great food for thought.

Personally, I am done, my kids are raised and I am enjoying being the best grandma out there, but I sure see how you could feel this way.
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