The wound of my husband leaving, and now filing for divorce is so painful, especially because it completely caught me off guard. And this whole thing is so painful because when we made the commitment to be married, and later to have our son, it was a pointed part of our discussions to commit. We each have a child from previous marriages, and had to share these children half time with their other parents. We made those custody arrangements work, but when we married, we discussed not wanting either of us to go through another divorce, so we made pointed commitments, and when we were pregnant we recommitted because neither of us wanted to have to share a child fifty percent again, miss half the holidays, half the summer, half their lives in this exchange. So we committed to being a two parent home. Now he has left, and my son is upset, and I am a mess. My son won't see him now (he is 13), but eventually, he will need to and eventually some custody arrangement will be made, and then I will need to watch my son go off with his father, and essentially have to put on a good face for all of this. I just don't know if I can do this. I feel so badly that my son will now have to be another statistic, and that I have to watch another of my children with a parent that is separate. How does anyone get passed the pain to make this situation work? How do I "do the right thing" and make sure he sees his dad and has healthy contact with his dad, and live with the heartache it causes each time he has to be away with him?
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