Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have 2 sons, 16 and 12, and since I've basically been a single parent all along (what with STBX's addiction and double life), things are going pretty well. They are growing into fine young men. My approach to parenting older kids is pretty much leading by example, as well as preemptive discussions of values and behavior when I see a potential trouble spot.
The only area where I doubt my ability to parent as effectively as I would like is in the area of sex and relationships. Since STBX's drug of choice is sex, I have a lot of healing to do myself in this area, but my boys won't put their development on hold for me to do this work.
And needless to say, I was never a teenage boy, and I really don't know what's going on in their heads. STBX has basically moved in with his latest conquest, but since we are still legally married for another 6 months at least, I have asked him not to share that info. We had agreed to teach the boys that sex belongs in a committed relationship.
I don't plan to date anytime soon, not that I have had any offers. But I'm going to need to give my sons guidance, and I can't count on STBX, as he's basically checking out of their lives (that's a topic for another rant).
What works? Do I give the kid condoms if he asks? Even if he doesn't? Help!
The only area where I doubt my ability to parent as effectively as I would like is in the area of sex and relationships. Since STBX's drug of choice is sex, I have a lot of healing to do myself in this area, but my boys won't put their development on hold for me to do this work.
And needless to say, I was never a teenage boy, and I really don't know what's going on in their heads. STBX has basically moved in with his latest conquest, but since we are still legally married for another 6 months at least, I have asked him not to share that info. We had agreed to teach the boys that sex belongs in a committed relationship.
I don't plan to date anytime soon, not that I have had any offers. But I'm going to need to give my sons guidance, and I can't count on STBX, as he's basically checking out of their lives (that's a topic for another rant).
What works? Do I give the kid condoms if he asks? Even if he doesn't? Help!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I left my husband because his porn/affiar lifestyle was creating a tremendous neglect on our home. I can't allow our neglectful disrespectufl relationship be the standard for which my children measure a relationship by. It's hard but one day I hope they will understand what a healthy relationship looks like. But first I must heal.
I heard a radio program about this topic. It said that adults don't realize how much misinformation is out there about sex and love, and that almost any kind of talk you can have with your kids about sex and relationships is better than none. It said that kids sometimes resist the conversation because they can tell that the parent is so uncomfortable that the child doesn't want to go through with it either. And, that you don't just get one chance to talk about it. You can always bring it up later if there is more to add or it didn't go well. If the child acts embarassed or something, just ignore than and calmly persevere. Pick a time and place where there are not interruptions an distractions and where you have enough time to really talk, not just before leaving to someplace.
Good luck.
I worry about the 'hash' his dad will make of talking to him about SEX and just hope he turns to me for advice.
I think (god I hope) that the good relationship we've always had will continue and he visits me regulary when I'm gone.