I'm in a very confusing place right now and I am so lost and depressed. I don't know what to think or do. My wife and I separated 7 weeks ago, after the first 3 weeks she sent me divorce papers in the mail. I had spent several months doing everything I thought would make her happy and feel the connection she had felt when we first married. Nothing worked. She began saying and doing things that really hurt a lot. I didn't understand why, and still don't. During our 3 week separation she sent me emails filled with anger and sometimes hatred toward me. I hurt so bad. The intensity of her anger was shocking to me. She had an anger management problem that she'd dealt with years before, but it was still an issue. Last week I began feeling a lot of anger toward her. I started to let go of the ways I wanted our relationship to be and focused instead on the reality of her meanness toward me. I didn't like the anger I was feeling--anger in general not necessarily toward her. It brought me down and made me feel like someone I'm not. Now, I am used to the hurt, reject the anger, and so don't feel much of either or anything else. I just don't feel much at all. I don't recall feeling so dead before. I don't know what to feel now or how to go about feeling it. I want to feel like I can be happy with someone else who has a good heart and is more of the caring kind of person and less the angry and mean type I am glad to be away from. But I don't know how to go about feeling.
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