i have the kids, no agreement yet, yet he has the big family so i am trying to make new traditions. i am inviting people over to fill up my house for the kids and hopefully help others that are without. maybe you willhave a dser in your area with the same situation, or you can reach out to ones in your situation. holidays are heartbreaking and maybe the reason for the season will soften your stbx. i tend to worry so far ahead and then it never happens. fly down here for dinner and a movie..

It's hard, there is no denying that. Whatever you do, don't sit home on the holidays, get out and do something. Last year I went to the local casino with my grandma, mom and sister. We had a lot of laughs and it made it easier not to be sitting at home and thinking about them.

This Christmas will be my first without the kids and although I'm not looking forward to it I'm already planning how I will keep myself occupied. I'm thinking of taking a drive this year just to get out of the house.

have no words of wisdom to offer you, though some good advice from dumped and sc given.

Feel your pain and you are in my thoughts

are you still "friendly"with x? i would want my stbx to see the kids on the holidays even if it was just stopping by to see them in thier outfits-or mybe having thanksgiving the next day with you....i feel that what we are going though is not the kids problem and that they should see him at every holiday so whatever happens between us as long as we both stay in the area the will always get to see him.

It always helps me to "be there for others" when I am feeling alone. You may consider volunteering if that suits your personality. If not, perhaps spend it with family.

We are supposed to try and do things together because he wants to remain friends... I honestly hope that works but he has already made one comment that if I was "snickety" then he wasn't going to be "nice". Talk about MANIPULATION... play my way or you can't play with my toys ..he is such a child and he is 14 years older than me!

Hope you can someday do things or try and get them for alternate holidays in the future.

I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with your X. If you both are speaking and doing what is in the best interest of the kids. I would suggest that for Halloween you ask if you could accompany them while trick or treating or ask they stop by your place to trick or treat and have something special for them...take some pictures etc. If you're not speaking...on your time before Halloween do something special and call it a early Halloween party. And regarding Thanksgiving, with my girl we celebrate it either earlier or later when it's not my year. You have to get creative...the kids will remember the time that you spent together, they won't remember what day it was on. And I suggest for you not to spend the Thanksgiving alone. If you don't have family close...accept an invite to a friend. But, most important do something that day, it will help.

I sit alone and cry....sorry.. no good advice.

I have been bending over backwards and allowing HIM to have them a lot.. but.. I want fair time now. Just cos I have them full time does not mean I get to do the fun stuff. I get to do the domestic stuff only.. school, homework, clean your room, home nursing sick kids...etc.. what about me on holidays?...

I sit and cry.. have way too much to drink... which I do not advocate btw.. drinking does not help... I am afraid I might be getting too friendly with the bottle these days.. be well.. stay strong.. find friends or family to cling to this holiday season.