Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher

It talks about rebuilding the foundation of your self-esteem and your life.

Look for a divorce recovery group in your town. A lot of the churches have them. That helped me and than read, I'm reading When the vow breaks right now and have read about 50 others books. It just takes time.

try a local meetup.com group.They are great, get to meet really nice people in a non threatening social atmosphere.

Please check out these two recovery programs. They aren't the total answer, but will help a lot. Both are approx 12 week programs.

http://www.rebuilding.org/

Is based on the book, Rebuilding, When Your Relationship Ends, by Drs. Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti. The one I attended had guest speakers each week, usually from the health & counseling communities, followed by small group discussion.

http://www.divorcecare.com/

Is biblically based and has a video each week, a workbook & small group discussion.

Also, finding a good therapist can be a huge help.

I am going through the same exact thing myself!! Since asking for the divorce, I have found that I didn't really know myself...my identity was wrapped around my marriage. I started a journal to help me through this time in my life. Just taking time to work out my emotions on paper helps me to really look at my feelings and change things if needed. It gives me a solid point to work from. It actually works! I don't think there is a step by step program. I believe you need to take it day by day. How long have you been divorced?

I have the "rebuilding" book it is awesome. I has helped me alot to understand the full gamet of feelings we go through. I also have attended divorcecare and really enjoyed that.

Step by step to where? If you don't know where you are going, you will get there. So, where are you going? What do you look like 1 year from now? What job are you doing? Who is in your life? What are your long-term goals in life? Write it down, play with it. Fall in love with yourself: you are a wonderful person. It's just that those other idiots don't see it. Their problem.
Smile more.

I've been reading and listen to Wayne Dyer's books and tapes/CDs/DVDs since 1993. He went through a divorce just before my separation, so his last 2 PBS shows really paved the way for me. I wrote about it in my 10/24 Journal entry.

You start out with the anger and evil thoughts then you just wake up one day and start taking baby steps towards the person you were before you were with the other person. Then you take each day as they come. Sooner or later you start to feel like you could possibly go on with out them. In between you have some rough days but you will live thru those too.

Finding yourself, learning what YOUR Dreams are, meeting Your Own Needs...those are the most Important Gifts you can ever give yourself.

Now is the Very Best time to do that.

Turn a sad time into a time of Incredible Growth and Learning about You. Make it positive.

I read that in a book and I'll be Darned if it hasn't changed my world. Some days are still dark, but not for long. I don't want the dreariness.

You are looking for the right thing-You will Win.

DivorceCare is great. Other than that, I have just been looking at what I did to contribute to problems in my marriage and learning about those subjects.

a great DS friend sent me a diary/journal. Lately I've been writing in it the things that gave me great joy as a child..and you know what? I still get great joy from the SAME things!

I thought this break up had "changed me" when in fact...it brought me full circle back to who I was, to who I still am!

Little things, like ice cream flavors, like playing with toy airplanes (graduated from balsa wood to remote control..but still same thing), like watching REAL airplanes, helicopters and gliders, looking at the stars (so now I have a cool telescope), like music (my first 45 rpm that I bought was Georgy Girl)...little things and big things...I'm not defined by a partner!

My maker made me just the way I am....I'm pretty pleased with the job he did too!

One of my favorite quotes sums up the kind of approach I'd like to take in rebuilding my life...
"Life isn't about finding yourself...its about CREATING yourself".
After all we've been through...I think each of us deserves the chance to create the life of our dreams

My husband said it seems I've always been looking for myself. "what kinda person doesn't know themselves after 33 years". I simply want to know as much about me as possible.

There is a group called Divorce Care. Google it and see if there is one in your area. The cover many of the areas of concern and the group setting is great. It is religious based, but religion is not pushed. It is more about group discussion and topics.