Well, I was on the fence about the whole divorce issue. I had a long talk with DH the night before last. I ended up sobbing and begging for forgiveness for blaming him for my unhappiness. Then the next morning it hit me. He had blamed every single one of our issues on me and me alone. He stood blameless. To make matters worse he told me something to the effect that I wasn't much of a catch and the only men I'd be able to date were middle aged ones who weren't able to make a relationship work. How mean is that? I spent a day ruminating over the conversation and decided that he was being pretty egotistical and he had a little room for improvement as well. I saw my therapist this morning. When I told her the things he'd been saying and doing (over the entire course of our marriage) she said he was being emotionally abusive and if it was her she'd be getting a divorce. She assured me that my reactions were sane, rational, and reasonable. So I borrowed some money from my parents and I'll be looking at rental houses tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll get lucky and we'll be able to do this without a lawyer. I think I'll wait until the kids leave for school tomorrow and tell him. He's going to be gone Friday and Saturday. That will give him two days to calm down and hopefully we can discuss our financial situation on Sunday. I'm going to start packing like a mad woman tomorrow night in hopes of moving next Saturday. I'm really dreading the conversation with DH but my therapist gave me some ideas on how to handle it. Wish me luck.
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