I finally put an end to all contact with my ex boyfriend. This has been a particularly hard task because my Mother died unexpectedly and he was my "go to" person. He has emotionally played with my feelings for awhile now. Not in a malicious way just in the ambivalent way. I should have told him to shit or get off the pot but I was trying to be patient. Isn't that part of what love is? Patient. So hah, that didn't work obviously. I am FINALLY putting it to rest. Its been three months of hope that he would change, that we would somehow make it through. I felt very connected and he knew my Mom. That is partly why I've held on the this whole relationship. I feel so much pain right now as if we JUST broke up and its been 3 1/2 months already. We saw each other only a handful of times (no intimacy) just friendship and hanging out. The weeks in between were hopeful weeks....so I feel devastatingly alone right now.
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