
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
Hey, everyone!!! I need some help and encouragement. My ex and I are separated and in the process of divorce. I know it's probably too soon, but I would really like to find someone eventually who could really love me just for the way I am right now. All my ex ever did was make me feel bad for who I am and wanted me to blindly accept and agree with everything he ever wanted to do or did. In fact, he gave me an ultimatum one night and said that if I didn't change into what he wanted, it was over. He never said that he was willing to change anything he was doing. It was all me. I was the only one who needed to change. Now, I am not saying that I would never change anything in myself for someone. I would, if I knew for sure that the person would love me anyway unconditionally. But my ex was just not that person.
My question is this: Has anyone here ever felt that they are unworthy of love? That's how I'm feeling right now. I have recently lost about 25 pounds, which is great, but I saw a picture of myself last night, and I still just don't look good, in my opinion. I just don't think anyone will ever be interested in me again. Plus, I am a music minister and that seems to scare people away sometimes. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone here ever feels like this and what should I do about it. Thanks!
Julia
My question is this: Has anyone here ever felt that they are unworthy of love? That's how I'm feeling right now. I have recently lost about 25 pounds, which is great, but I saw a picture of myself last night, and I still just don't look good, in my opinion. I just don't think anyone will ever be interested in me again. Plus, I am a music minister and that seems to scare people away sometimes. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone here ever feels like this and what should I do about it. Thanks!
Julia
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
From the start of our relationship I was ALWAYS a confident woman. I have always felt good about myself (thanks to my mom) and told stbx that he was making the biggest mistake of his life because I know I'm a catch. I really think I intimidated him b/c of some of the things he said to me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to love yourself completely without waiting for someelse to do that. Believe me that quality will be attractive to another. And if they don't love you for who you are, then run in the other direction as fast as you can.
there is this cute saying: "let's leave all the beautiful women to the men without imagination" ;-) I myself prefer not to look into "full-sized mirrors", because I do not fancy the girl I see there. However, I still believe that looks don't matter because it is not what I will be seeking in people I can allow to be close to me.
I understand that physical attraction means more to the men, but I also quite certain that the attraction comes from within - when you FEEL yourself sexy, you will be glowing with sexiness and men will pick up on these signals. try to put on a sexy lingerie and don't show anyone - and you'll be surprised how different you will feel all just by yourself, and how those who have absolutely no way to know what are you wearing under your skirt, will find you more attractive then ever. trust me - it works and it's a great self-esteem booster. TEST it ;-) it is all in our heads and who if not us can control it ;-)
btw:my hb also mentioned that "if I would be more attractive as a women, he would never had an affair"...did this lowed my self-image? I think more it dissapointed me to see how "shallow" the man I love and respect for the whole of my life turned out to be...once I'll heal me from the break up pain, I'm going to work on my self-image more, but the reason for loosing weight should never be - because you've been told so, it should be - because you want to be healthy.
Then I head out the door and go somewhere.
I turn heads. I get smiles. I get flirted with. Dang, I don't EVER just get totally ignored, and neither will YOU!!!
Flirting is Fun. Jumping right into another relationship-naw, give yourself time to Meet YOU :-) You deserve that.
Good luck to you and don't change a thing except your undies! I promise you are loveable and someone will come along that deserves you!
Good luck!
Love who you are.
You're a music minister?
That's awesome! and anyone who is scared by that is a fool and not worthy of your time.
I think it's time that you had a "mirror talk"
Go look at yourself in the mirror and instead of looking for flaws like everyone is trained to do,
Look yourself straight in your beautiful eyes.
Tell yourself,
"I am beautiful. I am lovable"
God made you just the way you are and he does not make mistakes.
Your thoughts are getting in the way.
There are all kinds of people and you will just have to take your time in finding a person who is interested in you and settle for nothing less.
Find a means to love yourself for who you are and that speaks volumes. When I find people taht want to change me I now consider this a flaw in them...a flaw that I wouldn't chose to live with and by that I mean...He who is trying to change the person on the outside more than likely requires change with in them self
Since I just broke up wit my BF I am now going to get involved with myself and friends and develop a healthier new me.
For the moment I am not worrying about
if a man will ever love me..I am more concerned with How I love myself...the rest will come later.
Fact is, People change. Sometimes they change together and lots of time they do not. You are not unlovable because your X thinks you need to change. One is not unlovable because some one is unable to love. One persons opinion is not the truth of who you are.((((Julia)))
You are feeling unworthy of love because of the way he treated you! You are worthy of love, there is no doubt in my mind.
I suggest that you make a few journnal entries. Think about all of your strength, write them down, make a list.
Write down all of your accomplishments. Think about that all that you have to offer in this world.
Go out and treat yourself. Do what YOU want to do, be it a trip to London or a photography class, whatever.
If you like yourself and treat yourself well, people will notice and you willwho will treat you the same way. attract people that
I don't know you that well but you seem like a wonderful person and one day you will find the unconditional love that you DESERVE.
(PS: You are a very pretty lady to boot)
I meant to say that you "will attract people who will treat you the way you deserve".
I wish you all the best.